Have Mercy
http://s19.sitemeter.com/meter.asp?site=s19southeastofdisorderOk, so the blog posts are coming in at a pretty inconsistent rate, and I apologize for that, but you would be amazed how working security at a Jewish rehab center 12 hours a night can do a number on your creative energy.
I've really learned quite a bit through watching about 30 hours of NCAA tournament basketball over the past two weekends. Number one being Darius Rucker is officially broke. I'm pretty confident I have more money than him. I'm guessing the rest of the members of Hootie and the Blowfish were in some shady bar, drinking away there sorrows, and muttering things like, "We coulda come back Darius, we coulda come back, Mase did it, Mariah Carey is doing it, why couldn't we" after watching there careers go down the drain all for a few bucks and a lifetime supply of Crispy Bacon tender crisp Cheddar Ranch sandwiches at the local Burger King.
The second thing I have learned is, "There are 360,000 NCAA athletes, most of which are going pro in something other than sports." I think a much better stat they should use are there are more than 1.2 million drunks in college, most of which are going pro in something other than alcoholism. Or they could go with, there are 14 players on the University of Cincinatti basketball team, none of whom will ever attain a college diploma.
While we are on the subject of things I have learned thanks to the NCAA tournament, the biggest and most important thing is I will continue to throw away money on NCAA office pools every year, never learning, continuing to take teams like Utah St. and donating 10 dollars to the person smart enough to know that Penn, a team with 5 white guys who can't shoot, defend, rebound, or dribble, probably won't beat BC. I should probably just donate the 30 dollars I spend every year on brackets to the Penn basketball program, considering they obviously are in dire need of anything, possibly a basket or a ball, I have never seen a team field 5 white guys, who all seemed to shoot 12% from outside of 5 feet. Shavlick Randolph is without a doubt the worst starter Duke has had in 10 years, I'm pretty confident Screech Powers could shut him down on the block, I don't understand what anyone ever saw in this guy, outside of the fact he has a name that belongs in the porn industry.
Here's a prediction, Kevin Pittsnogle joins the WWF. Once there he develops a persona as Pittsnogle the model, uses a finishing move called the pitts of nogle, and uses the catch phrase "Fear the stare of this Mountaineer." And if he doesn't become a wrestler he can open up a BBQ restaurant called, "Eat Kev Pittsnog's hog." He should probably look at me for management advice, I'm obviously 2 steps ahead of his career.
I desperately need some type of sign off line for these blogs, If anyone has any ideas let me know. I can type these things quite quickly, but then when it comes time to end them I turn into Ray Babbit, and mumble, "97X, bam! The future of rock 'n' roll. 97X, bam! The future of rock 'n' roll" over and over to myself, really isn't a pleasant sight. So for now we are just gonna end with, "That's right, Ice-Man. I am dangerous."
