port of indecision

Never trust anyone who doesn't like all of the following movies

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There is a lot of ways to judge someone's personality. Psychologists have all these crazy things involving rorshach and what not. But I can tell you this much, if a person doesn't like the following movies he is most likely a communist, or an Iraqi spy and shouldn't be trusted.
1. Top Gun- Because the guy who played Goose seemed like he had no right being in the movie. Watch the volleyball scene, everyone is in great shape outside of Goose. He must of been a good friend of Tommy C in real life. That scene was like the movie eqivalent of the Chris Farley - Patrick Swazey dance off on SNL.

2. Great Outdoors - John Candy was the greatest overweight comedian of all time. (take that Chris Farley fans) Everyone likes this movie, and like I said if they don't, they are probably communist anyway so it doesn't matter. And I am supremely confident that Candy could really down that steak. How creepy was the guy that made him eat all the fat and grizzle? You could base an entire horror movie around that guy. It should of been Freddy vs. Jason vs. the creepy guy who made John Candy eat all the grizzle.

3. Blues Brothers- sticking with movies involving Akroid and Candy, this is the only musical a man should be comfortable watching. Blues Brothers 2000 however should of never existed, it was a stupid idea, probably by a communist who thought they could improve on the first, they were better off doing a spinoff on Matt Guitr Murphy.

4. A Bronx Tale- The Sonny test works,the Mario test is different and i dont have it in me to try it.

5. The Warriors- "Warriors, come out and playyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" This made being in a gang seem cool. Just cuz you could theme your gang, now all you have is gangs picking colors. Back in Warrior times you had the baseball bat gang, the mimes, and my personal favorite, the orphans.

So there you have it, if someone tells you that these movies are no good, don't trust them.

posted by Southeast of Disorder @ 8:49 AM