port of indecision

A Seinfeldian view of Mavericks-Heat

2006-06-21T21:01:00.001-07:00

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As the NBA playoffs came to a close Tuesday night, I decided to write a little Seinfeldian recap of what has taken place.

"We all get a little cuckoo sometimes, George. I used to be like you. Berating personnel until they cried, calling managers on the field during a game, threatening to move the team to New Jersey, just to upset people. Then I found a way to relax. I've got two words to say to you, George... Hot Tub!" -Mr. Steinbrenner to George Costanza

This is for Mark Cuban. Cubes, its time to take a break this summer, relax, stay out of the spotlight, and maybe jump around in a big vat of money like the one in Ducktales. Your rich, do what you want as long as it means not tinkering with this team. You have turned the Mavs from a perennial loser into a team two wins from a championship. The team has progressed, San Antonio was conquered, and Avery Johnson has earned another year with these guys. Try not to be too big a distraction and let your basketball people figure things out.

"Where are people? You see people? Show me people! There are no people!" -Babu to Jerry Seinfeld

This is for the Dallas fans. It's a tight game 6, roughly 4 minutes to go and your team needs one last push. This is it, let it all hang out for your team. The Mavericks fans were silent down the stretch. They sounded defeated long before the final buzzer sounded. I don't know if TO has already killed every sports fan in Dallas, but this would never happen in New York, Boston, or Chicago. Never.

"It must've seeped into my subconscious. Puddy has Ziggy bedsheets." Elaine Benes about David Puddy

Here's too Shaq who just like Puddy is a large burly man with a childish mind that makes him such a likeable character. Shaq's skills as a player may of diminished, he may of been lazy and out of shape coming into this season, but he will never take too much flack for it because he is such a likeable player. He's a 7 foot 350 pound kid. He's always there for a good quote to the media and seemed to be the heart and soul of this team all year long. We may of just witnessed the last good run he has left in him. Here's to hoping he sticks around the game in some way or another after he retires, his character is good for the NBA.

"You know, George, the ocean called. They're running out of shrimp."
"Oh yeah, Riley? Well, the jerk store called. They're running out of you!"
"What's the difference? You're their all-time best seller." -George and Riley

Here's to Gary Payton, your all out of zingers. One of the best trash talkers in history can no longer back up any of his talk. It's time to go away. Not only has his play and value dropped considerably, but it seems he has completely lost his mind. During Game 6 he caused what at the time was a costly turnover because he decided to have a conversation with the referee mid game. The turnover led to an eventual Stackhouse 3 pointer. It's always an odd feeling watching a great player who has hung on way too long. If he doesn't hang it up now, then hopefully he will go to Seattle for a final farewell, and then we can be done with him.

"What is this? What are we doing? What in God's name are we doing?"
"What?"
"Our lives! What kind of lives are these? We're like children. We're not men."
"No we're not. We're not men."
-Jerry and George

For Erick Dampier and Desagna Diop. Both have had times in the last few years where they have disappointed. So here's how to solve that, work out as hard as humanly possible with each other over the off season. Diop made leaps and bounds this year by simply losing weight and getting into shape. Now continue the transformation and work on a few low post moves, then Dallas has a very good center for the future. Dampier has proven when motivated he can be a very good center in this league, that is until he gets the money he wants. He had a good series against Shaq, now he needs to get in the gym and find a way to motivate himself. If he rests on his laurels all summer he will become the token overpaid bench player for the Mavs.

"Who wants to have some fun?" -Cosmo Kramer

For Michael Doleac, after all, what could be more fun than being the token white guy for an NBA championship.

"The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. So I started to walk into the water. I won't lie to you boys, I was terrified. But I pressed on, and as I made my way past the breakers a strange calm came over me. I don't know if it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things, but I tell you Jerry, at that moment I was a marine biologist." -George Costanza

For Dwayne Wade, who secured a spot in the conversation when it comes to talking about the most dominate playoff performances in history. Throughout the playoffs and finals he found ways to get to the rim and the free throw line. He hit miraculous shot after miraculous shot. He also knew when to take over, and when to let Shaq, Antoine, and Jason Williams get there touches. A simply legendary performance.

"Columbus, Eurotrash" -Jerry

To Dirk Nowitki who could of been the first foreign born superstar to win an NBA title. He struggled to get it going in the finals, which unfortunately may mean the rest of his playoffs will be forgotten. It seemed Dirk had finally proved he could dominate on the big stage. He knocked off Duncan and Nash. If he played in the finals the way he did against San Antonio and Phoenix the idea the of European players being soft may of finally been thrown out the window. Instead we can now look forward to another year of experts questioning the toughness of European's. Congratulations Dirk, not only did you let down your country and your continent, but you let Hasselhoff down as well.

"And by the way, they're real and they're spectacular."
- Sidra

To Pat Riley and his 5 rings. Riley did what he set out to do. Love him or hate him, he is going down as one of the best of all time. This sealed it, if he doesn't win another game his legacy is set.

"My whole life I have never made a great entrance."
"You've made some fine exits." - George and Jerry

Finally, to Stan Van Gundy. It's got to hurt knowing that you leaving is one of the biggest reasons the Heat won. Hopefully you find a job in the NBA as a head coach in the near future, but let's face it. Riley is an NBA legend, you can't possibly hold yourself to his type of standards. Hopefully your stache has helped you land on your feet and your living it up in the world of late night Cinemax. Rest happily knowing your exit may of been the best thing that ever happened to this team.

Len Bias: Legend or Lesson

2006-06-20T21:48:00.000-07:00

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I do not have any memory at all from the passing of Len Bias. I was only 4 years old at the time, but growing up a Celtics fan I've heard a number of stories, and have come to realize what he could of meant to the franchise as well as what some people think he could of done for the NBA in general. Up until a day ago I always thought of Bias as a guy who could of been a regular in the All-Star game, may of been the difference for 1 or 2 Celtics titles at the tail end of the Bird era, and possibly made some noise teaming up with Reggie Lewis in the early nineties. I have not heard many people claim much more than this, this would of made for a very good NBA career. Then I traveled to ESPN's website, and apparently I was lied to growing up or something is really out of the ordinary with the world wide leader.
I will start with a column written by Scoop Jackson. (http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=jackson/060619_bias) Let me begin by saying I'm not a fan of much of Scoop's work so normally would not even bother to critique any of it because I would waste too much of my own time doing so. We begin with Scoop calling Len Bias a martyr. Wait, let me rephrase that, a #$@!ing martyr. Here are the Webster definitions for martyr 1 : person who voluntarily suffers death as the penalty of witnessing to and refusing to renounce a religion
2 : a person who sacrifices something of great value and especially life itself for the sake of principle.
It is widely accepted that Len Bias died of a drug overdose when he decided to celebrate being drafted with a little cocaine. He did not die for a religous or political purpose and he certainly did not sacrafice his life for any principle belief. He instead died because he celebrated in excess. I will not even bother to delve into the rest of the column, outside of saying Scoop chooses to call Len "LB" throughout. There is only one LB who has dawned a Celtic uniform, enough said. If you choose to read on past the martyr section of the column, be prepared for the mentioning of Michael Jordan, Lebron James, Tupac Shakur, and Martin Luther King in an article about someone who never set foot on the court in an NBA jersey.
Now onto a column by Bomani Jones (http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=jones/060619) I know nothing about Bomani Jones, have no history with his writing so I would consider myself not to be biased (no pun intended) when it comes to his writing. The article starts with Bomani buying a Len Bias Boston Celtics jersey out of the back of a Ford Tempo. I would normally follow this up a question along the lines of, why are you buying a jersey out of the back of a Ford Tempo? But there is too much to work with here and I don't have time for how rediculous this start is. Now onto this statement from Bomani: "Without question, Len Bias has influenced my life and the lives of my generation more than any other. He might be the most influential athlete of the 20th century." This could go on for hours, so I will only name a few I consider to be more influential, and not by a small margin either. Let me begin with Jackie Robinson, broke the baseball color barrier. Something wildly more important than anything Len Bias ever did or dreamed of doing. If it weren't for Robinson there is a good chance no one would of never heard of Len Bias. How about Lance Armstrong? Lance has survived cancer, inspiring those victimized by the disease and now financially he is helping to create forward progress in the fight against cancer. Did Bomani forget Jesse Owens, did he skip over the part of history involving Joe Louis, and I know Bomani was around for the movie "Miracle," could he of thought that it was a fictional tale?
Mr. Jones goes on to play the same martyr card Scoop had in the previous article. Unlike Scoop, Bomani actually attempts to explain why he considers Bias a martyr. I'm not buying what he's selling, but at least he gives some reasoning.
The last column of the group belongs to Bill Simmons. It's from "The Sports Guy Vault" meaning it was written a ways back. In this case it was June 20, 2001. I have been a huge fan of Simmons and usually enjoy his columns to the point where I creepily check the ESPN website multiple times a day hoping he's written something new, but I can not defend much of what he says here. (http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/vault) First Simmons writes about Bias as if he were a family member, using language you would only use in describing a loved one. If you didn't know that in reality Bias was a complete stranger to Simmons, never mind family, you may be easily fooled. Bias was a Celtic for 48 hours, and this is the only connection between the two. Almost anything could have happened in Len's career, and it's funny when you think some of the things that could of left Bill writing about if Bias lived, just not to Bill's expectations. What would Simmons be writing if Bias lived? What if Bias fled the Celtics in 1993 for a bigger contract with San Antonio, teaming up with David Robinson for 3 titles while the Celtics floundered? Simmons would probably call Bias every name in the book the same way he does Roger Clemens. What if it had been the other way around and Clemens passed away in '86? Simmons would of written about how "The Rocket" would of launched the Red Sox to multiple '90's World Series rings.
Simmons goes on to compare Bias to a handful of NBA superstars, including Michael Jordan. Here is where my knowledge of Bias comes in a little fuzzy, but if he was this good why was he drafted #2? If he was the next Michael Jordan, then was Brad Daugherty the next Wilt Chamberlain at the time?
I am not going to argue that Len Bias was not a great college player, I was only 3 years old when he was a senior, my argument would be filled with made up garbage, which is what it seems some of these columnists chose to do. I see Bias as someone who should be seen as someone who young athletes can learn from. He was killed by excessive drug use that could kill anyone. In no way should he be seen as a martyr, looked at as a hero, or worshipped in anyway. Young athletes have enough poor "role models" shoved in there faces on a daily basis. Only time can tell the future, and Len Bias never did get to realize his full potential. No one really knows what could of happened, but if you write for ESPN you can pretend to know.

Get me on that Blue Devil Bandwagon

2006-06-20T16:26:00.000-07:00

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"With the 7th selection in the 2006 NBA draft, the Boston Celtics select: J.J. Redick out of Duke University"
This very phrase would make many Celtics fans skin crawl come Draft Day. Redick may be the most scrutinized 2 time player of the year award winner in history. Many experts have spent the past two years picking him apart and turning him into an average NBA prospect who could go as late as the early twenties in this year's draft. He was the most hated player in the country last year, and couldn't leave Durham without being bombarded with insults. If you mention his name in College Park, MD you are bound to hear a 20 minute rant that at some point questions his sexual preference. Despite all this Redick won his second Player of the Year award this past season, and continued to improve his all around game for the fourth year in a row. So what is it that the "experts" see, or don't see for that matter in Redick?
The most consistent knock on J.J.'s NBA prospects is a myth that many seem to think he won't be able to get his shot off at the NBA level. Some come right out and say it, while others use terms like, "Must prove he can score against elite level athletes." (http://www.nbadraft.net/profiles/jjredick.asp) The basis of this theory is that Redick does not have a 40 inch verticle leap, and in all reality looks like he has more of a future as a preppy, smug, grad student at Duke than as competition for Dwayne Wade. What this theory lacks is anything substantial to support it. As a freshman Redick dropped 30 points against current Denver Nuggett Julius Hodge. In his sophmore campaign it was a 23 point performance against last year's consensus rookie of the year Chris Paul. As a Junior it was 18 against a UNC team who had 4 players all drafted in the first round in the last years draft, including #2 pick Marvin Williams. For his senior year it was a staggering 27 points a game while playing in the best conference in the land. Every team focused it's defense on him, running 2 to 3 guys at him per possession. This is a luxury teams can not afford when it comes to a jump shooter in the NBA, and proved how devastating Redick truely is from the outside. No one has ever dominated the college game strictly from the outside the way Redick has, imagine what he could do against with only one guy guarding him.
Character issues have risen since a recent DUI charge against Redick. Let me remind you, J.J. is a senior in college. While I in no way condone drinking and driving, the majority of college students have done it at some point or another, some get caught and others don't. J.J.'s teammates and coaches seem to really like him, and when it comes to basketball that's what truely matters. He did not pull a Kobe and get charged with rape, he got caught doing something that should in no way reflect on his draft status. (Side Note: This is unless of course GM's find he has a Vin Baker like case of alcoholism, in that case get away immediately and consider this piece of writing irrelevant.) Redick has chown plenty of character in being so thick skinned when it comes to fan criticism. As mentioned earlier Redick has been victimized by almost every insult one can imagine in visiting gymnasium's. This speaks volumes about his ability to play in a place where he will hear his fair share of jeers like Boston.
The biggest reason I have for drafting him is this, the absolute worst he could be is another Steve Kerr. A three point and free throw specialist who is used late in games to either seal the deal at the line or hit a clutch three. I know your thinking why would we draft someone who could be the next Steve Kerr? Well the answer is what is wrong with Steve Kerr? He was a contributor on championship teams. Look at the potential #1 Tyrus Thomas, he could be the next Chris Bosh, but he could also be the next Yinka Dare. J.J. Redick is a safe pick, anyone who is consistent from the outside and at the line can contribute. Now Redick's ceiling is another story. At his best he could be Peja Stojakovich with a killer insinct. Redick has proven not to be soft, and has made plenty of big shots in his college career. He is known for throwing three point daggers to put away opposing teams. He has that intangible that Peja doesn't have, the intangible that has kept Peja from being a great player since he came into the league.
The last reason I have for wanting J.J. in a celtic uniform is he is exactly what this team needs. Paul Pierce has had zero confidence in his teammated over the last year. You can see it in the way he plays on the offensive end. Constantly taking shots he should not take rather than watch Tony Allen brick another wide open three. The only guys he gives it up to are Delonte and Raef. Delonte because hes has proven himself as a scorer, and Raef because they are old college buddies. J.J. will open things up for Pierce's drives and mid-range game. He will keep opposing guard's honest at the defensive end because anyone who has watched Duke play over the last four years knows you can't leave him open. He has improved his upper body strength and developed more of an NBA body. He's shown quick hands and compiled good steal numbers in his last season at Duke, proving he may not be such a liability on the defensive end as so many claim he will be.
I know some people think J.J. is overhyped because of the color of his skin and I'm not seeing it. I go to get my hair cut in a Roxbury barber shop, it's a black neighborhood with all black barbers and I usually have conversations about the NBA with a particular barber there. The man is a die hard Celtics fan who is not shy when it comes to critiqueing players. The first thing he said to me when I sat down in the barber chair was, "We need J.J."

Hunting Season

2006-06-19T19:35:00.000-07:00

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It's hunting season in and around Fenway Park again, and if someone doesn't start regulating this situation Red Sox fans are going to go the way of the Dodo. Over the past fifteen years Red Sox Nation has expanded faster than the Roman Empire ever dreamed. Unfortunately members of Red Sox Nation are being hunted by greedy and evil individuals. These individuals have proven to be much more adept in the field of hunting than Elmer Fudd or our current Vice President. There camoflague and ability to hide has kept us from spotting them before they can financially wound us.

Baseball viewership was something that used to be a blue collar hobby. This is something that you see if you can look beneath the layer of greed that has covered Fenway Park like plaque on teeth in a Crest commercial. A hot dog and a beer has been the meal of choice at Fenway Park since it was first opened in 1912. This is the working mans meal if one ever existed. While this is still the most popular selection for Fenway diners, it will now run you a not so blue collar $10 dollars for the combo. $10 dollar might not sound so bad, but this is about double what it would cost for the same thing anywhere else on the planet. The price is exponentially larger than it was before the organization decided to commercialize the idea of the Fenway Frank and Budwesier spent millions to be considered the official beer of the Boston Red Sox.

It is no secret that the Red Sox organization including players, management, and ownership have taken advantage of Red Sox fan loyalty over recent years to increase profits. The average ticket price is almost double the average of the rest of the league. Fans struggle to get tickets while local ticket agencies such as Ace mysteriously end up with hundreds of tickets for each game, and of course sell them for an inflated price. (More on that later) Jersey's go for over $100 each, hats reached prices of $40 after the World Series victory, and some food prices inside Fenway should be considered illegal. It seems the Red Sox aren't the only ones making money off the fans recently however; it looks like local businessmen caught the hunting bug and decided to bag some Red Sox Nationites as well. Of course like a well run organized crime group nothing moves without the boss saying so, and in this case the Red Sox are the boss. Here are three of the more lucrative business groups hunting fan's wallets.
1. Fenway Area Bars-On Christmas day 2005 the original Baseball Tavern was displaced in order to build luxury apartments, an era officially ended. An era that had been put in critical condition after Game On! and its $8 million dollar budget found its home at Fenway Park. Now Game On! is about as perfect a bar to watch a sporting event as ever was created; if you enjoy watching a game with upper class bandwagon fans, the pink hat crowd, and tourists. This bar set a trend in motion where bringing in the most fans to watch a game with good food, beer, and prices was no longer important. Instead it was to cater to the fan with the most money to spend. An $8 million dollar bar built around over priced food and giant flat screen HD tv's. It's neighbor the Cask N' Flagon was forced into winter renovations, these cost money and eventually reflect in the bill of the consumer. The Baseball Tavern was the true baseball fan's last stand in the Fenway area. A hole in the wall that oozed baseball history and had floors covered in beer stains from spilled $6.00 pitchers. That's right $6.00, if you do the math (5 beers in a pitcher, its $4.00 for one Budweiser at Game On!) it would cost you more than double that for the same amount at Game On!. Not too mention cheap food prices and a reputation for attracting only the most knowledgable of Red Sox fans from all walks of life, the pink hat and tourist crowd needed not apply. But after the World Series changes started to be made. All new flat screens were installed, prices were raised, and now it will move to a bigger and no doubt swankier location. It should not come as a surprise that the Red Sox are helping to facilitate the Baseball Tavern's move into a new location, after all why would the Red Sox want the riff raff that hung out in the old Baseball Tavenr around there park?
2. The Ticket Agencies-Possibly the most visual, yet still somehow secretive relationship in the world of sporting events is that between the teams and ticket agencies. While fans wait in line at the ticket window for hours, and eventually get sent away because a particular game is sold out, agencies hold massive amounts of tickets and sell at a premium price. Upper level bleacher seats for the upcoming Mets series are going for $125 dollars at Ace tickets, an incredible 600% increase above face value. And if these tickets don't sell by gameday, they will be pedaled outside and scalped for a premium price by an agency representative outside the park. If the Red Sox organization cared about the fan these agencies would be cut out. Scalping laws would be enforced outside the park and the actual fans would get a chance to buy face value tickets without sleeping outside of Fenway Park in order to do so.
3. The Boston Media-How many books can possibly be written about one team? Before the World Series victory dozens of books were written about the tortured fan base and the possible curse. Headlined by Dan Shaugnessy's "The Curse of the Bambino" which ran more updated editions than a World History text book. And then after the series it seemed like a race to see who could profit off the victory first as slews of books came out on the team. All selling at premium prices and most were nothing more than rehashing what happened throughout the year. If you are a Red Sox fan, and someone out there like you, there is a good chance you received one of these books for Christmas, and a loved one spent a large sum of money to get you a recap of something you just spent an entire year watching.

Despite all this, I as well as the majority of Red Sox Nation will continue to shell out cash for tickets, merchandise, and everything that comes along with the Fenway experience. It's the only game in town, and it's an addiction the majority of us were brought up on. The only thing we can really do is hope someone starts regulating hunting season before Red Sox Nation goes bankrupt.

Back in the Saddle

2006-06-19T19:26:00.000-07:00

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Alright, this is the last time I'm going to try this, no more excuses. I have the time on my hands to keep this page up again and will do my best. I'm going to attempt to update 3 to 4 times a week. I know I had a long hiatus and thank those who emailed me asking if I was going to be updating any time soon. It helped me make a decision to get back into the saddle after the long layoff. Before I got a few emails I really thought only my friends were reading this thing, and didn't realize others were actually following along. Thanks for the positive feedback to those who did email. Time to get back on track.

2006-01-15T16:26:00.000-08:00

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Well at least there is good news, I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geiko. And now to the negatives. Hopefully no one put any stock into my picks for the football games, they were truely aweful. After watchign Peyton Manning teams collapse year after year, I should of seen this one coming. I just completely botched the Seattle-Washington game. Carolina is beating the Bears as I type this, so I could go an incredible 0-4. The Patriots-Denver game was just a complete disaster, here's my thoughts on what happened.
The Patriots lost this game for a few reasons, oddly enough not much of it had to do with the Broncos.
1. Turnovers, they beat themselves. Troy Brown is normally one of the most sure handed guys in the league, and has been a consistent clutch performer. His error on the punt return summed up the turnover situation for the day. Guys who you expect to be mentally tough players lost focus on what they had to do, handing the game to the Broncos.
2. I hate using this because it looks like more of an excuse and a cop out, but the officiating was attrocious. The pass interference call on Ellis Hobbs was terrible, it was a perfectly defensed ball, and the call was about 10 to 12 seconds late. The Champ Bailey play was odd, it could of gone either way. But the one thing that really caught my eye about this game was the excessive amounts of holding Denver got away with. Holding happens in the NFL and goes uncalled on a lot of plays, usually if its away from the ball, or if an offensive lineman grabs onto a defensive players breast plate, disguising the hold. But these holds were blatant, in front of referees, and easy calls to make. I counted a total of 5 times where Vince Wilfork and Richard Seymour actually got tackled. If these are called this game is a different story.
3. Brady and Vinatieri. These guys have been the heroes for the past 4 years, the best in the game at their positions, and even better with the game on the line. Niether came through in situation you would expect them to last night. Brady missed two or three passes that would have gone for huge plays. Vinatieri missed a big field goal. Some people say the thin air in Denver makes a difference, and maybe for Vinatieri and Brady it did, I really don't know.
4. The John Lynch show. This guy came in as fired up as you get. He played up in the box, stuffing the running game, but the Patriots still couldn't get it over the top of him. Just a great performance by one of the best safety's in the game.

So where does this leave the Patriots? I think they are still in great shape for next year. Brady has a very good recieving corps. coming back. Ben Watson could become a dominant tight end in this league. Harrison and Bruschi should be 100 percent, as well as Dillon. Corey did not run hard these last few games, and it was obvious he was still hurt. The offensive line should be better with Matt Light coming back. The only thing I see as a real issue is picking up a shut down corner, someone along the lines of hte Ty Law caliber player they have had in years past. The defense was as good as you could ask of them down the stretch this season, especially the front seven. Unfortunately I don't think they had enough time to gel this year. For the first time in a while the Patriots won't have the last pick in the draft, which should help us pick up someone capable of playing a key role next year, preferably an offensive lineman. Watching the post game interviews, it was easy to see why the Patriot organization is the class of the league. The player's were gracious in defeat, specifically Brady. He could of gone the route Peyton Manning went, and blamed everyone else. (In case you missed it, Peyton threw his offensive line under the bus after the loss to Pittsburgh.) The team is still fairly young, has a lot of talent, and with Belichek at the helm another shot at a superbowl in '07.

Doc Rivers, Mark Blount please stop torturing me

2006-01-09T22:36:00.001-08:00

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Everyone on a ship sees a giant ice berg ahead of them. Realizing they are headed toward disaster they all protest to the captain to turn the ship around, but instead of listening to his passengers the captain keeps on going in the same direction towards the ice berg that will eventually sink the ship. This is how it feels to be a Celtics fan right now, Doc Rivers is playing the role of the ships captain. Doc is stubborn and consistent in his ways. These can be good traits, but in the current situation they cause nothing but Celtic misery.
The first evidence of Docs ineptitude with the team this season comes in the form of the Marc "I swear to God I'm Funky" Blount experiment. Marc has average only one more rebound per a game than he does turnovers this season. This is pretty incredbile considering he is a seven footer averaging 30 minutes per a game. Not to mention he is a liability on defense, has the worst hands in basketball, and is a disruption to the team often times claiming he, "Doesn't get enough touches each game." Doc has shown signs of cutting his ties with Blount and relying more on other options at the center position, but keeps going back to Blount. They are the equvialent of that really bad high school or college relationship one of your buddy's was in. The girl cheated on him, talked bad about him, used him for money, but your buddy for some odd reason would only break up with her for short periods of time before getting back with her. Doc has benched Blount for entire games in the playoffs because a lack of effort, stripped Blount of his starting position this year because of his complaining to the media, but always ends up returning him to the starting lineup and keeping him in during crucial situations. The Celtics have Kendrick Perkins who has proved this year he can be a dominant rebounder on a team that severely lacks rebounding and toughness, but is passed by for Blount. A player like Perkins takes the stress off of Paul Pierce to carry the rebounding load. This allows Pierce to be a better man defender, and keeps him fresher late in games.
Most people in the media, and most people following the Celtics seem to realize Brian Scalabrine is a 15 million dollar mistake. Defensively he plays the role of the tortoise and opposing players play the role of the hare, except in the NBA slow and steady does not win any races. Even Doc Rivers seems to understand this for the first 43 minutes of every game. Yet somehow in three of the closer games this year, including Saturday's last second loss to the Washington, Scalabrine has found his way onto the court in the final minutes, despite playing no more than few minutes before in each game. Dan Dickau has also been used in the same manner at times during the season. My point here is how can you have no confidence in a guy to play in the first 43 minutes of each game, then use them in crucial situation with the game on the line?
My last issue with Doc is the way he has handled the point guard situation this season. Delonte West, Orien Greene, Marcus Banks, and Dan Dickau have all seen large minutes in different games this year. All I really ask of Doc his too settle on just one of these guys to start and play at least 30 minutes each game. A point guard has to play a leadership role in order for a team to be successful, and having a point guard by commitee severely hurts the this role of the point guard. Doc has done a good job of slimming his roation of late down to three, Greene, Banks, and West, but still does not seem to of settled on one. Doc is a former point guard and should understand that all these guys can not play equal minutes, despite all of them have similar levels of talent. Doc needs to pick his leader and stick with him.
The Celtics have the talent to be a 45-50 win team in the NBA this year. They have played well against some of the league's upper class, but crucial decisions late in games continue to cost them. Ainge needs to make a change, and make it now.

Recent Happening and NFL playoffs

2006-01-08T18:52:00.000-08:00

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Well looks like I haven't updated this thing since september, not the consistency I was hoping for. On a good note however, its NFL playoff time, meaning I got alot to say.
First, my Patriots trounced Jacksonville. If you've been watching the Pats play lately this was a predictable result, they look similar to the first super bowl team. No real running game because Dillon is favoring that ankle, but Brady is good enough to keep defenses on there heels which sets up the occasional decent run. The Defensive backs aren't big name guys, but they can hit as well as any group in the league. When Eugene Wilson hit that Jaguar running back yesterday it looked like a scene out of Any Given Sunday or Playmakers.(By the way out of all the stupid online petitions out there why hasn't any one attempted to bring back Playmakers. It's going on my list with Clone High of shows cut off way to early.) There is no way these guys are losing to Denver. I'll take a Bill Belichek defense in the playoffs over Jake Plummer any day. Belichek's sweatshirt needs to be getting it's own advertising campaign. If your running Tide or Gain, it makes too much sense to claim its your detergent is responible for keeping that thing clean. The sweatshirt is to Belichek as wearing underwear on the exterior is to superman. The only way the Patriots lose this game is if another defensive back goes down with an injury and Belichek has to put Diet Pepsi Machine in to play defense.
BEEEEP! BEEEEP! BEEEEP! This is a not a test. For the next sixty seconds, this station will conduct a message for the Emergency Broadcast System. There has been a John Kitna siting. Kitna is on the loose. You may remember Kitna as the quarterbackof the Bengals when they were the Bungals. He has been MIA ever since the Bengals franchise chose to allow itself not to be hijacked by players lacking the ability to win football games. Kitna was seen in Cincinatti today with a football in hand. Bengal fans, we did all we could to keep him locked up and keep your team safe. We even attempted to get Boomer Esiason involved. Unfortunately it was too late, Kitna officially ended your season. We now return to your regular scheduled program.
And in NFC Carolina and Washington won. The NFC could be the worst conference in NFL history right now, so who really cares. For next week I'm going Chicago over Carolina 16-7. Carolina will get one huge play out of Steve Smith. The rest of the team will be shut down, this is probably the first step toward a Bears superbowl appearance.
I'm taking the Skins over the Seahawks. I have no confidence in Seattle wide recievers being able to beat the Redskins defensive backs. Gibbs will put 7 and 8 guys in the box to stop Alexander. The Redskins should be able to catch a couple of big plays against the Seattle defense. Final Score: Redskins 24-10.
And to the AFC. There is no chance Pittsburgh beats the Colts, none. The Steelers defense is built on size more than speed. The safety's like to come up against the run leaving them open to a Peyton Manning beat down. Roetlisberger is going to spend half the game on his back because of the Colts defensive line especially Freeney. Final Score Colts 45-17.
Not surprisingly I'm taking the Pats over the Broncos. The Patriots front seven is playing very well lately and should stack up the Broncos running game. This means Jake "Pornstache" Plummer will have the beat the Patriots with his arm in a playoff game. Final Score Patriots 31-10.

week in Boston Sports

2005-09-13T22:03:00.000-07:00

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Last years World Series win has apparently done a lot to the psyche of Boston sports fans, and I have to say, I'm impressed. People around here actually seem to have faith in this years Sox. At any other point in my lifetime, if Boston saw the Red Sox lead shrink from 5, to 2 1/2 in a five day span with only a handful of games remaining there would be panic. Actually it would be worse than panic, it would be lawlessness in Red Sox nation. Someone would dig up some old Babe Ruth artifact, something along the lines of a half eaten hot dog the babe tossed out because he couldn't get a hold of any relish, and Red Sox fans would see this as a logical way to exercise the gods and hang on to the AL east lead. Glenn Ordway would be calling for a complete overhaul of the team from the batboy up to Francona, while the Sports Guy would write a 6,000 word column on the impending end of the world as we know it. Instead, outside of a few completely lost souls, everyone seems to have faith in this team. At the same time everyone does seem to have an easy time admitting this team is not a shadow of last years due to a swiss cheese bullpen and inconsistent starting pitching. Winning the series was the most therapeutic thing this city has ever seen. It was as if the entire city sat down with a shrink for an hour, then went for a massage. As long as Shrek (D.O.) sits in the middle of this lineup I think this city has a reason to be relaxed, he should be the leagues MVP, and at this point I'm pretty confident he could single handedly solve the world hunger problem if he wanted to.

New year, same story for the Patriots. I get a kick out of the the few who claim the Patriots aren't going to be the same without Weiss and Crennel. I always saw the two coordinaters in Belichick's system as a couple of sides at a good Barbaque restaurant. Crennel was cole slaw while Weiss was cornbread. Granted coleslaw and cornbread are tasty, but it's the ribs that make the meal, you can live without the the sides, but the ribs are critical and up the value of the sides. Not many people are going to go in and order cornbread and coleslaw, without some sort of main course, and if they are smart they will order ribs, the Belichick of the barbacue world. I do think Crennel and Weiss will succeed at their new jobs, Weiss already has. After all they surely have learned quite a bit from Bill, but Bill is going to be fine, he is the mastermind, there is no doubt about it.
Opening night was awesome as expected for the Pats. A good performance on the field, good opening ceremony although I am sure AC/DC feels snubbed, afterall the Pats played Hell's Bells about 675 times at Foxboro last year, yet Ozzy gets the call for opening night anyway. Brady is still Brady. The Offensive line looked a little sluggish in the first half, but those usually don't gel until around week 5. It was great to see Troy Brown back involved in the offense, he really took one for the team last year playing cornerback, and I think alot of people are going to be reminded of how good of a receiver this guy really is. I wish I could say my fantasy teams week ones as successful as the Pats. I'm in two leagues, in one my quarterback is Donovan Mcnabb, the other league its Daunte Culpepper. I'm sure my misery with the week one performances doesn't need to be stated. Let's not forget I also have Jamal Lewis who looked fat and out of shape, apparently prison was not good to him.

Boston.com puts these crazy photo contests on there web site evry once in a while, the most recent featuring Bostonians with celebrities. This has to be one of the most pathetic and comical lists I've seen. Here are a few of my favorites:

If your a fan of informercials, preferably ones that air between 2 and 5 A.M (and who isn't, really?), these two are for you, http://www.boston.com/ae/celebrity/gallery/readers_and_celebs_6?pg=3 and http://www.boston.com/ae/celebrity/gallery/readers_and_celebs_6?pg=10

I've got two tickets to paradise thanks to Eddie. He actually looks dead in this picture, these girls might be pulling a weekend at Bernie's. And kudos to anyone that can actually recognize Eddie in a crowd http://www.boston.com/ae/celebrity/gallery/readers_and_celebs_6?pg=11

Mr. T, I will say no more http://www.boston.com/ae/celebrity/gallery/readers_and_celebs_6?pg=13

Ok and lastly, where is the justice in this world, how can they list Mike O'Malley as the star of Yes Dear, as if Guts never happened. And what happened here, he did have hair, I know it, I saw it with my own eyes. It's like he left guts and he lost all desire to look presentable. Simply shocking. He needs to get himself back in shape and win a piece of the green glowing rock. http://www.boston.com/ae/celebrity/gallery/readers_and_celebs_1?pg=28

Ok, one more, really there were like 300 of these, but how is Gallagher even a celebrity at this point? http://www.boston.com/ae/celebrity/gallery/readers_and_celebs_5?pg=8

2005-09-07T22:49:00.000-07:00

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Alright, good news, I am most definately alive, and apologize for not updating this thing in quite some time. More good news is the long layoff gives me something to write about.

First things first, is Kevin Millar's 2 week span in which he actually hits the ball really worth the other six months and 2 weeks of futility? If this was what we really were looking for in a first baseman why didn't we just continue to go with Brian Daubach, pretty much getting the same thing minus Millar's constant whining. Or maybe we could bring back Carlos Quintana, he's probably a few years younger than Julio Franco. But that being said I do stand by Terry Francona sticking with his guns from last year, despite Millar's almost comical consistency when it comes to flying out to left. I just wish the rest of the organization, specifically Theo and upper management, had the same type of loyalty to the guys that ended this curse. I would of loved to see last years team come back and defend the title, Pedro, Lowe, Cabrera, Roberts, and the rest of the Series winners that were cast off. After the Sox 86 season, they actually kept Bill Buckner for another year, but let go 5 key players from the most important team in Boston sports history. Bellhorn getting dumped and then picked up by the Yankees was really tough for me too swallow. Bellhorn has obviously seen better years, his strike out numbers were getting astronomical, they were actually becoming a running joke. Despite this I still think he got the raw end of the deal here, everyone knows how he was treated from the media and fan bashing to management dropping him quicker than Jared could pound down a sweet onion chicken terryaki. In reality he should be remembered as a Boston sports hero. How quickly people seem to forget this guy had 3 homeruns between game 6 against the Yanks and game 1 vs the Cards. Two of those were the go ahead runs in the late innings of close games. Hopefully ten years from now he is remembered for that, and not for his record for most consecutive games without smiling. My last thing on the Sox is Bronson Arroyo got caught in the Dorm room of a Northeastern freshman ( http://www.dudemannews.com/forum/index.php?PHPSESSID=df725f32f92d5167da56b9b1dd4693c2&action=printpage;topic=50.0 ) and apparently his wife is not happy. Here's my biggest gripe, first off I'm really not as disappointed as some that Bronson has a wife at home and chooses to go hang out with freshman, what bothers me is his choice in location. As a Northeastern student I gotta say nay to Bronson and any other professional athlete, actor, musician, Ice Cream truck man, or pretty much anyone who is not an NU student from dipping into our talent pool. If Bronson and his Red Sox cronies start taking all the NU girls, the rest of us guys will be left with nothing but the stetson east cafeteria staff. So Bronson here's what I'm asking you, go to BU, BC, BHCC, I don't care, but this Northeastern thing needs to stop.

Digital cable is the best invention to hit television since the remote. I actually spent 45 minutes yesterday going through my On Demand options before finally deciding on Food Networks Uwrapped: School Lunch. Do you realize that school's are actually getting there lunches catered these days, and that there is a head of the elementary school lunch board for the entire country. And better yet, she abolished Salisbury Steak from the school lunch menu, I can not believe my kids are going to be able to go through life without eating a salisbury steak, I can't control my jealousy. I don't think you could get a salisbury steak outside of elementry schools, so whoever was making these things has to be out of business, another tough blow for the economy.

I would like to make it clear that I was planning on returning to the blog a good 2 weeks ago, but unfortunately those plans, as well as all other plans including homework, important events with family and friends, work, and even shaving have all been pushed aside for Madden 06. I am officially through with my third season meaning I have played at least 32 games, at about an hour a game thats 32 hours, it is astonishing that I haven't failed out of school.

God Bless and Good luck to all those victimized by Hurrican Katrina, while never actually placing a foot in New Orleans, I still feel as if I have been there through the songs Ive heard and books I've read.

2005-05-30T23:43:00.000-07:00

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Say it isn't so Charlie Bucket, say it isn't so. Why are the movies taking a Puff Daddy-esque turn? Is everyone just flat out of ideas, or is Notorious B.I.G. still alive and secretly the man behind the scenes running the movie industry along with his bad boy cronies Puff Daddy, Mase and 112. The Longest Yard as well as Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory, two movies who stand in the pantheon of great films have been remade, but why?
If it ain't broke, don't fix it is a pretty good motto when it comes to most things, even if something is old like the two movies in question are, don't mess with a good thing, and Gene Wilder was a great thing for the character of Willy Wonka, I don't see Johnny Depp coming close to his performance. At the end of last season the Red Sox chose not to resign Orlando Cabrera, opting to go for the pricier option and take Edgar Renteria. Cabrera made people forget about Nomah, he came up with huge hits in the playoffs, and even bigger plays in the field, the only possible reason the Sox had for letting him go was they thought they could do better and Renteria is making them look mighty dumb, leading American league shortstops in errors as well as times booed. So basically what I am getting at with this whole rant, besides the fact that I want Cabrera back at short, is do the producers of the new movies really think Johnny Depp is a better Wonka than Gene Wilder? Wilder was the perfect fit, he gave Wonka the odd dark side that made the movie. I just don't think there is any way to recreate his character without him doing so, the same way few others could duplicate Cabrera hitting .379 against Anaheim in the playoffs last year. And on top of this they will never find another Slugworth worthy of being Slugworth, the guy who plays Slugworth (Günter Meisner) actually played Hitler in 3 different movies, look it up he really did, now can you find anyone better to play the a guy trying to trick and mislead children? This new movie can't happen, if not for the sole reason it will save a child from possibly having his life turned into a circus that will most likely include 3 rehab stints and a Michael Jackson incident, what are you going to do about Charlie Buckett, the original somehow defied the odds and ended up normal http://www.avma.org/onlnews/javma/nov00/s110100g.asp. Movies like this and the Longest Yard will probably do great, for some reason I don't know, but I just really hope that Bad Boy will finally stop.

Sunday night tv

2005-05-02T17:06:00.000-07:00

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Sunday night's Family Guy comeback was the first can't miss TV night I have had since Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer got locked up for breaking the Good Samaritan Law. I must add that my last 5 or 6 Sunday nights have been dedicated to The Contender which is possibly the best reality sports show in history, and will hopefully help turn the future of boxing from looking like Mr. Belding to A.C. Slater. Unfortunately this Sunday it had to contend with back to back new Simpsons episodes, the return of Family Guy, and the premiere of American Dad, a blitzkrieg of animation comedy not seen since Fred lost his bid for water buffalo because Barney voted against him. Fox just blew every other Sunday lineup out of the water, and even caused me to miss two hours of the NBA playoffs. So without further ado, my review of Fox's Sunday night trauncing of every other network on television.

8:00 The Simpson's 350th episode Special Guests Ray Romano and Stephen Hawking
The decline of The Simpson's has been similar to many of the old European Empires, slow, and caused by considerable overexposure. It seems like the writers are running out of ideas, and the show is running on fumes. This does not mean that the show has not shown the ability to reach back and pull out a gem worthy of the shows once dominant era. With this being such a big night for Fox, plus it being the 350th episode, a milestone few tv series will ever reach, there was reason to believe this would be one of those shows. Now if you missed it, it's your own fault, but this was a Simpson's throwback as I had guessed. Highlights included a spoof on Hooter's, a considerable amount of Homer, and a little bit of Professor Frink.

Best line of the episode: Kent Brockman: Professor Frink, what's the scientific explanation for this unusually super thunderstorm?
Professor Frink: Well Kent, we are exploring two theories at this point, A. either we have a super cell of high pressure from the east, or B. God is bowling! With the balls and the pins and the rental shoes and the very bad cheese pizza that comes in squares.

Honorable mention to the character who Ray Romano does the voice for, Ray Mangini constantly plugging Everyone Loves Raymond at the end of the episode, a shameless promotion, but funny none the less

8:30 The Simpsons
Not a great episode, but good enough to have a few laugh out loud moments. Is it me, or do the writers struggle every time they try and have Bart carry a show now. For some reason he just doesn't get it done anymore, which is really a shame, because for the firstfew seasons he was the dominant character. If they are going to continue featuring Bart and Lisa they are going to have to recognize that the show has been on since the beggining of time, therefore the two kids should be out of elementary school, and Maggie should probably be talking by now. I don't know maybe I'm nitpicking on this one, but this episode proved the show may of run its course. For example Dr. Hibbert plays a doctor in a Psychiatric ward, and then a pediatrist in back to back episodes. I understand it's a cartoon, but come on, your better than that. Tab Spangler, the fat camp director fortunately saves the episode from complete disaster.

Best Line from the Episode: Absolutely any line from Tab Spangler involving his signs being wrong, preferably the first, involving his sign Tough Luck, that was supposed to read tough love.

9:00 Family Guy
College students such as myself have endured some very tough things over the past years. Horrible cafeteria food, tiny living spaces, beds that may or may not of been used at local prisons, stubborn professors, tuition hikes, and not to mention hangovers. They all pale in comparison however to Family Guy being kicked off the air. Unlike that foul cafeteria food, it took way too long for the show to come back. The comeback episode started off taking the expected shots at Fox for waiting so long to bring it back, but was still a pleasant segment. It also featured comebacks from the Creepy guy from down south, and the greased up deaf guy, both notable surprises. I will of course still be waiting for Cleveland and Quagmires returns, which will make it feel like the show is really back. The Pinnochio scene was by far the funniest in the entire episode. Other highlights include Passion of the Christ 2.

Best Line from the episode: Chris Griffin- What good is mining nose gold if you cant share it with the townspeople.

9:30 American Dad (Premiere)
First episode from a new show by the makers of Family Guy, if the makers of Newman's salsa can also produce a quality lemonade, than I'm positive the makers of Family Guy can produce another solid show. All in al the show has potential, but didn't show too much of it Sunday, I see a big breakout performance coming out of it soon.
Best line from the episode:
Hayley- I dont want to die a virgin
Stan- Ah sweetie there was a 70/80 percent chance of that anyway

Western Conference NBA picks

2005-04-22T21:34:00.000-07:00

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The Western Conference playoffs will be fun for the first couple of rounds, but then people will finally realize that the teams that defend win.

Phoenix(1) over Memphis in 5
Phoenix is just way to athletic for the Gruzz. Amare is going to have a field day with Gasol. Somehow word gets out that Steve Nash is not really white, or from Canada for that matter, but actually was a much more talented looking player before a governmental agency placed a basketball player in the body of a short white canadian guy with crazy hair.

San Antonio(2) over the Mile High Nuggets(7) in 6
I sincerely hope the Nuggets invest some time during the off season to acquire Walter Mccarty, Tracy Mcgrady, Jeff Mcinnis, Aaron Mckie, Keith Mcloud, and Antonio Mcdyess just so people can start calling them the mcnuggets. Their best player right now is nicknamed after a slowly dying department store chain, so things really can't get much worse for them in the nickname department. Duncan is going to eat them up (no pun intended) on the inside, the Spurs are boring, but they are damn good.

Sacramento(6) over Seattle(3) in 7
There will be absolutely no defense played, these teams could combine for 300 points in one game. Ray Allen and Peja Stojackovich will each average 30 a game in the series, just fun basketball too watch.

Houston(5) over Dallas(4) in 7
Yao Ming is 7'6.

2nd round
Houston over Phoenix in 5
Yao Ming is 7'6, Amare Stoudamire is 6'10 and Jake Voskul is his back up, that's right, a big white, stiff look out.

San Antonio over Sacramento in 6
Should be a decent series, but Duncan is just too tough, and the Kings no longer have Webber to even remotely slow him down.

Western Conference championship
San Antonio over Houston in 6
Yao Ming is 7'6, but Tim Duncan is the best player in the NBA. San Antonio is the boringest team in the NBA, no wild personalities, they just play hard on both ends, wear teams down, and win. This is not a recipe for tv ratings, so expect the league to do everything in its power to stop San Antonio, yet Houston still will fail.

NBA Championship
San Antonio over New Jersey in 4
YAAAWWWN

The blogs NBA playoff preview

2005-04-22T18:58:00.000-07:00

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Last year I was pretty dead on with my finals prediction, so this year I figure I'll go all out with a full blown NBA playoff preview.
Eastern Conference Preview
Round 1
New Jersey (8) over Miami (1) in 6.
As long as Shaq is shooting 45% from the line, the Heat just won't be able to stop Nets from turning this into a track meet. Every time Shaq misses his second free throw Kidd, Carter, and Jefferson are hitting the other end of the court before you can say don't fake the funk on a nasty dunk

Celtics (3) over Pacers (6) in 5.

It's incredible how bad Indiana actually is right now. They start two guys who are both about 10 years removed from there prime (Miller and Davis), an injured Jermaine O'Neal, a point guard who probably couldn't start on my intramural team (Anthony Johnson), and finally a deranged psychopath with a jumpshot in Stephen Jackson. On top of this the top 2 bench guys are big white stiffs, not a recpipe for success againts a team that likes to run in the Celtics. Yet I still give the Pacers one win due to the Mark Blount- Doc Rivers factor. Doc for some reason feels the need to play the most overpaid man in the league, and Blount subsequently gives his opponent, no matter who it is a huge boost. His stat line is pretty much guaranteed to include 6 points, 6 rebounds, 3 turnovers, and dunked on 8 times by Jermaine O'Neal through 25 minutes of play. One other note about this series, if your playing family feud, and the catagory NBA's ugliest player comes up, Blount and Reggie Miller are guaranteed to come up as the 2nd and 3rd answer behind Sam Cassell. Due to the Timberwolves losing out on a playoff spot this year, this makes them the two ugliest players in the playoffs. This leaves me very excited about the prospect of these two ending up at the same bar after a series game, and both attempting to pick up the same girl, which of these two prince charmings will sweep the local NBA groupie off of her feet first? NBA Action, it's faaaaantastic.

Chicago(4) over Washington (5) in 7
Da Bulls pull it out in 7, starting about a week of everyone in Chicago comparing Ben Gordon to MJ, before he gets spanked by Jason Kidd in New Jersey. Washington just isn't that good. They start two non-factors, and don't even have a good token big white stiffsittign on there bench, very disappointing from a Washington team that once claimed Jim Mclvaine. Kirk Heinrich will have a breakout series, while Gordon continues to dominate second halfs. This series is pretty irelevant in the big scheme of thigns that are the NBA playoffs.

Detroit(2) over Philadelphia(7) in 5
Rocky Balboa, a fictional character, remains the most popular sports icon in Philadelphia, not good for the 76ers. The Wallaces swat about70 shots combined in this series, Chris Webber blows at least 2 games in the final seconds causing a member of Allen Iversons posse to break his legs before game 4, meaning Big Softie Rodney Rogers gets the start and Rasheed goes for 50 in the final two games.

2nd Round
New Jersey over Chicago in 4
New Jersey is 3-0 agaisnt Chicago this year, including a win without Kidd. Winning by an average of 14 points when Kidd plays. Just not a fair match up. Have I mentioned that some guy names Andres Nocioni will have to guard Vince Carter, read that last sentence again, Andres Nocioni. Vince may set a record for points scored in a 4 game span.

Boston over Detroit in 7
I know, I'm a homer. I just can't help it, but this Celtics team is good. They have a great young bench, and any time you have a big guy like Lafrentz who can hit the outside shot pulling one of the Wallaces from the paint you have a good shot at knocking at sending Detroit back to 8 mile. Ricky Davis is one of the only guys in the league that can keep up with Rip Hamilton, who is the key to the Detroit offense.

Eastern Conference championship
New Jersey over Boston in 6
For some reason we just can't beat these guys when it counts. It hurt me enough writing this, so I'm just going to end it here.

Just call me the casbah, cuz I'm gonna be rockin

2005-04-11T20:10:00.000-07:00

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I was watching the Red Sox home opener and am pretty sure the over under on Abe Alvarez pawning his ring off for drug money is 4 years. I am just as sure that Jerry Remy had nothing to do with the world series win, nothing, so how does he get a ring? Shouldn't they of saved some of this ring money and paid Pedro, the guy did pitch a complete game shut out the other day, on the very day that David "Bald Drew Carey" Wells gave up back to back to back homeruns to a sad Toronto team. This really isn't a good situation, how can you have a 160 million dollar pay roll, and not pay the best pitcher (my apologies to el guapo, your close) in the history of your franchise. Now our rotation consists of 2 40+plus year olds (Wells, Schilling) a guy who couldnt live up to his potential in Chicago (Clement) a guy coming off a major injury (Miller) and lastly an extremely streaky pitcher who couldn't break 75 on the radar gun (Wakefield.) Not an ideal situation. Either way they did look good in the opener, the end of the order looked better than the early and middle guys at the plate. The Renteria signing just was not a good one, I don't see why we wouldn't of kept Cabrera, the guy hit like .400 during the playoffs last year and is a gold glover, the type of guy you want on your team. I do miss the "Mental digit" Derek Lowe, turned out despite everyone giving him so much crap for mentally breaking down during the year he pitched better than anyone else on the staff come playoff time. So we got rid of two world series heros, bad idea. In Major League 2 did the Indians get rid of Willie Mayes Hayes, or Pedro Serrano, or Rick Vaughn for that matter? The answer is no. And when is someone from Red Sox management finaly going to tell Johnny Damon to shut up. Every time the guy talks I feel less intelligent for listening. He reminds me of the male bimbo character (Tony) on seinfeld. All that being said, as long as the Yankee pitchers keep pitching like they belong in double A, the Sox are going to have an all right season. While we are on the subject, when is Steinbrenner going to snap and trade like half the team for some starting pitching. How bad is there GM Brian Cashman? His boss basically says here, spend what you want, build me a World Series calibur team, so he proceeds to ignore the fact that pitching wins world series titles. Why wouldn't they of tried to get there hands on Hudson, Zito, Lowe, Pedro, or Clement in the off season, they have the money. They could of signed those guys and built some sort of super staff with Randy and Mussina. Instead they are stuck with Kevin Brown, who the Tampa Devil Rays made a meal of. That's right, the Devil Rays. This season could be a wacky one once Steinbrenner starts moving.

Have Mercy

2005-03-28T23:15:00.000-08:00

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Ok, so the blog posts are coming in at a pretty inconsistent rate, and I apologize for that, but you would be amazed how working security at a Jewish rehab center 12 hours a night can do a number on your creative energy.

I've really learned quite a bit through watching about 30 hours of NCAA tournament basketball over the past two weekends. Number one being Darius Rucker is officially broke. I'm pretty confident I have more money than him. I'm guessing the rest of the members of Hootie and the Blowfish were in some shady bar, drinking away there sorrows, and muttering things like, "We coulda come back Darius, we coulda come back, Mase did it, Mariah Carey is doing it, why couldn't we" after watching there careers go down the drain all for a few bucks and a lifetime supply of Crispy Bacon tender crisp Cheddar Ranch sandwiches at the local Burger King.

The second thing I have learned is, "There are 360,000 NCAA athletes, most of which are going pro in something other than sports." I think a much better stat they should use are there are more than 1.2 million drunks in college, most of which are going pro in something other than alcoholism. Or they could go with, there are 14 players on the University of Cincinatti basketball team, none of whom will ever attain a college diploma.

While we are on the subject of things I have learned thanks to the NCAA tournament, the biggest and most important thing is I will continue to throw away money on NCAA office pools every year, never learning, continuing to take teams like Utah St. and donating 10 dollars to the person smart enough to know that Penn, a team with 5 white guys who can't shoot, defend, rebound, or dribble, probably won't beat BC. I should probably just donate the 30 dollars I spend every year on brackets to the Penn basketball program, considering they obviously are in dire need of anything, possibly a basket or a ball, I have never seen a team field 5 white guys, who all seemed to shoot 12% from outside of 5 feet. Shavlick Randolph is without a doubt the worst starter Duke has had in 10 years, I'm pretty confident Screech Powers could shut him down on the block, I don't understand what anyone ever saw in this guy, outside of the fact he has a name that belongs in the porn industry.

Here's a prediction, Kevin Pittsnogle joins the WWF. Once there he develops a persona as Pittsnogle the model, uses a finishing move called the pitts of nogle, and uses the catch phrase "Fear the stare of this Mountaineer." And if he doesn't become a wrestler he can open up a BBQ restaurant called, "Eat Kev Pittsnog's hog." He should probably look at me for management advice, I'm obviously 2 steps ahead of his career.

I desperately need some type of sign off line for these blogs, If anyone has any ideas let me know. I can type these things quite quickly, but then when it comes time to end them I turn into Ray Babbit, and mumble, "97X, bam! The future of rock 'n' roll. 97X, bam! The future of rock 'n' roll" over and over to myself, really isn't a pleasant sight. So for now we are just gonna end with, "That's right, Ice-Man. I am dangerous."

The Mexican Hat Dance

2005-02-21T21:15:00.000-08:00

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Novartis, a German pharmaceutical company just bought out two major American Pharmaceutical companies for a combined 8.3 billion dollars. In related news, I bought a pack of POGS for 3.25 on ebay, you tell me who got the better deal. I don't care what it is, if someone offers you 8.3 billion dollars for anything, outside of your life, take it, then buy my pog collection for just 1 billion of them oney you had earned.
I hope someone else caught the new season of ESPN's dream job, in which 5 former NBA players are competeing for the job of NBA analyst, and Stephen Angry Smith yells at them like they are street trash. Was pretty comical stuff. Darryl Dawkins was amazingly bad, it sounded as if he were chewing on a flashlight while attempting to read the cue cards, something tells me you won't see him on any NBA Read to Achieve commercials any time soon. After Dee Brown's attempt at reading the cue cards, Stephen Angry Smith let Dee know he was disappointed, at which point Dee pumped his Reeboks twice and beat Smith with his own microphone, all without looking. Okay I may of added that last part, but I doubt anyone would of minded if Smith took a few lumps from the Dunk Champ.
It looks like it's come time again for Red Sox and Yankees fans to spend millions of dollars on there local teams so the teams can then ruin baseball. I'm a Sox fan, although I'm not about to say I'm a member of Red Sox nation, because I don't want to be a part of any group that includes the likes of Jimmy Fallon. But really I think I would celebrate if the Kansas City Royals pulled off a world series win this year. Actually I will celebrate with just one win. The vegas odds on them winning the American League Pennant right now is 150 to 1. Do you realize how much talent the Sox and the Yanks had to buy in order to create a situation where a team has 150-1 odds. The Sox didn't really break the curse last year, they just bought it. I'm jumping on the Royals bandwagon right now. Maybe I'll buy a Royals hat so they can afford to hang on the there 2nd baseman.
Global Warming is apparently real everywhere except Boston, it's a sweltering 15 degrees out and snowing. Winter has some good underappreciated things in the Northeast though. Like anytime someone you know is going on a trip anywhere it's warm for any reason you get to hit them with the old mainstay "Can I come in your suitcase." And then you can wait for the laugh like the person traveling hasn't heard it 674 times in the past week. I would like to go away and hold people to the suitcase thing. Just show up at there houses with typical luggage the day of trip and tell them to hop in. Find out how many of the specialties in originality are serious about there request. It could be a long flight to Hawaii with a stop over in New Mexico in that suitcase.
I just realized that if you look "Rick" up on Yahoo, the number 1 thing that comes up is the home page of some travel guide named Rick Steve's. According to Yahoo he is the most important Rick ever, which is nice because it gives me the goal of one day topping the Rick yahoo list. I mean Rick James is number three, so outside of that I don't see much competition. (I know a few of you just came right out an in your mind said "I'm Rick James, bitch" and I'm telling you right now that joke is over and old. And if your wondering how I know you thought that, it's because second I finished singing my rendition of superfreak, I uttered those same words.)

A few random thoguhts on a Thursday morning

2005-02-09T19:50:00.000-08:00

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Anyone else been lucky enough to go to a website and be the 9,784,532,565,684,344,659,674th visitor and win a free cruise. Has anyone been fooled by this yet and thought they had won. I mean if your going to try and fool me to get me to click on this thing, at least give me a nice round number, like 10,000 at least it would be more believable that I could of won something.

I just checked and realized that John Kerry is still selling Kerry/Edwards merchandise, is anyone still buying this stuff thinking that throwback political wear is going to be big soon. Like 50 cent is going to show up in his next video rockin some Dukakis 88 sweatpants, a Dole 96 hoodie, and a Mondale 88 bumper sticker on his 2005 Escalade. The funniest thing is its not even like he has the crap on clearance, he's got it out there like he didn't lose. This is the worst case of denial I've seen since Jesse Spano's caffeine pill addiction (I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so scared.) Do you think Michael Moore ever gets mail thats directed to Al Borland?

When did Snoop Dogg become this friendly lovable character? Wasn't he arrested for murder at one point, and isn't he a crypt? Now I like Snoop a loop as much as the next guy, but hasn't anyone noticed this as a strange transformation. I thought the wwf, or the actual show transformers were the only places where your image changes so quickly.

I think we should all put up a serious fight to save moustaches. They are a dieing breed and a beautiful thing. I have 2 uncles who have been hanging on to there 'staches for as long as I have known them, and I gotta say, any man with a stash is a better man than me. It seemed a few years ago we had a huge rage over the disappearing community of people who adorn mulletts, and I think we did a good job of saving the mullett right up untill the end of the NHL, the same things should be in order for moustaches, and if you don't think so your getting kicked outta my blog.

I'm in the midst of creating spyware for the blog, after seeing all these warning's I receive in pop ups about it, I think it would give the blog an all new edgier style, kind of like the blog meet Bon Jovi, or somewhere along those lines.

They are remaking Willy Wonka, this is an outrage. If it isn't broke don't fix it. Did these people miss Blues Brothers 2000. I'm really hoping we aren't going to hit the Puff Daddy stage in movies, where writers run out of good ideas, so they just remake the classics and have some guy wearing way more jewelry than any man should wear starts yelling we won't stop cuz we can't stop through the tv screen, but I do feel it coming.
Sorry bout that, just had a flashback from the mid 90's, was pretty horrible.

I swear someone told me they were making new episodes of family guy, but apparently they are on the rocky 6 plan.

Does anyone miss the MTV Rock n Jock basketball games? I thought these things were great, slap together a team of 1 NBA player not good enough to play in the real all star game, 1 athlete from another sport who has nothing better to do in the offseason, 3 celebrities who also happen to be pretty good athletes, 1 celebrity who is between the ages of 8-14, and 2 good looking female celebrities that don't get off the bench. I think if I had to slap together a team right now my lineup would look like this
sg Ron Artest-just because he's artest, fights usually ensue.
pf Will Ferrell- whooped p-diddy's marathon time, and yes I am aware I mentioned puffy twice in this blog, and no I am not happy I am giving the dollar sign's sidekick so much attention. But I think I would put Ferrell at the Power Forward postion.
c Bob Saget-Danny Tanner has some serious height, he made Uncle Joey look like a smurf, he's definately my center.
pg Mario Lopez- He's my point guard, there is no better athlete in the world than AC Slater, do you realize he never lost a wrestling match at bayside.
sf Mr. T- For 4 reasons- 1. To see his reaction when the official asks him to take off his jewelry while he plays. 2. To see Ron Artests reaction when he realizes his teammate is his lifelong hero, Clubber Lang. 3. Because he is Mr. T damn it. 4- To see the MTV ratings plummet when the viewers realize that Mr. T really is the star of the show.
6th man Chris Griffin - Yes I know he's a fictional character, but I need to fill the 8-12 year old catagory. It would make the show like one of those really strange early 80's movies where they combined real actors with cartoon characters, kinda like Mr. Limpet, would be a good time for everyone. How does MTV go from airing the rock n jock games 78 times a day to just completely getting rid of them.

I'm sick of parents and teachers telling an 8 year old kid they can be president, lets stop insulting the kid's intelligence, he's 8, the legal age requirement is like 40, how bout we gun for a little bit more realistic of a goal, like a free pizza courtesy of Book It at pizza hut for reading the Bernstein Bears Build a Treehouse.

If I were Santa Clause right now I'd be laughing my fat behind off at the Easter Bunny. The oversized rabbit has to hop around the entire world in one night with like 900,000,000 cadbury eggs and do it by foot. You know Santa is hanging out in a jaccuzzi in the North Pole with a miller light in his hand saying, "Don't be so cheap, spend the extra few bucks on a sleigh and some reign deer and maybe people won't look at you as such an amature. Oh ya, lose the eggs, they make you look fat."

Apparently there is an obesity epidemic in America, which has set off this huge health rage, which really hurts those of us that don't want to be healthy. I mean before if you wanted to be unhealthy, there were hoardes of other unhealthies like you, therefore you really were even with others when it came to dating, now the unhealthies have to contend with the healthies, and that's just not right. And Windsor Pilates can't work, figure I would throw this in there, you can't lose weight by makeing wierd creepy movements on a little piece of padding.

I guarantee if you go to a big enough school there is one kid who wears shorts everyday, not matter how cold. Where do these kids come from, there are 3 on my campus, I know exactly what they look like, see them all the time. It's like -8 degrees, and they are wearing shorts. Now from what I hear these people are everywear, there should be a list of these people made up like a sex offenders list, becuase these people have to be criminally insane.

The curse of Robert Parrish

2005-02-08T19:22:00.000-08:00

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Happy Mardi Gras to all. Enjoy a nice New Orleans style Hurricane and put it on the Blog's tab, and catch the beads the blog is throwing. Tonight is Fat Tuesday, a really underrated holiday. I don't know what it is or even why it's celebrated, I googled it and still did't find the answer, so I'm just going to assume its a holiday celebrating all the great things that Uncle Jesse Consopolous has done for us. I can tell you this about Mardi Gras, alcohol plus beads equals fun.
Now on to the important stuff, the city of Boston is in trouble. Brighams has gallons and gallons of Reverse the curse ice cream with nothing to do with it. There are Break the Curse cookies sitting in some warehouse by the hundreds. The guys who change the reverse curve sign on storrow drive to reverse the curse are bored, and I think someone cryogenically froze Dan Shaughnessy because he has nothing to write about. Bostonians dont have reverse the curse T-shirts, books, movies, hats, band-aids, popsicle sticks, toothpicks, or cereal to waste there money on anymore, and they're looking for a new way to blow some coin (By the way, I wrote this whole thing just so I could write the words blow some coin and justify it.) Now there is a curse out there, and it is being ignored by legions of Boston sports fans who soon need to realize about the hauntings of Robert Parish.
If you look up curse and Robert Parish it will most likely lead you to the theory of some Golden State fans, who call the trading of the Chief, Chief's revenge. It is believed by some that when Parish left California he left a curse disallowing Golden State to ever win a playoff series. Well I will tell you where Parish left his real curse, here in Boston. Parish was the only member of the big three (Mchale, Bird, Parish) not to retire in a Celtic uniform. Now Parish wasn't exactly the perfect citizen, he was accused of beating his wife, and plead guilty to receiving 100 lbs of marijauna from fed ex. Which leads me to this, do you really want to mess with a guy who is receiving 100 pounds of weed in the mail, especially if the guy is 7 ft tall and is nicknamed Chief? Well when Robert left the Celtics he was so angry he placed a curse on the Celtics: The Celtics will be forever cursed with terrible players at the center position. And that's it. Now here is a list of Celtic Centers begginning in 94-95, the teams first year without Robert.

Eric Montross

Acie Earl

Pervis Ellison

Alton Lister

Frank Brickowski

Brett Szabo

Steve Hamer

Marty Conlon

Stacy King

Travis Knight

Andrew Declerq

Zan Tabak

Roy Rodgers

Vitaly Potapenko

Eric Riley

Tony Battie

Dwayne Schintzius

Mark Blount

Jerome Moiso

Bruno Sundov

Ruben Wolkowyski

Mikki Moore

Chris Mihm

Now if that isn't a curse I don't know what is. That's right, a dozen big white stiffs, not that I dislike big white stiffs, they just shouldn't be your starter unless you have guys like Bird, Magic, and Michael in your backcourt. Those are 23 amazingly bad NBA centers in all. Not one has any right starting in the NBA. Here's just a short run down on a few of these players. Alton Lister- When the Sports Illustrated ranked every player in the NBA for the 94-95 season, Lister was listed as last, he also had the worst overall ranking in that years version of NBA Live. That made it unanomous, he was the worst player in the NBA, and he started half the season for us, everyone in Boston should of known there was a curse right away. I can't even believe a guy named Ruben Wolkowyski played in the NBA. His career was all of 6 games long, all 6 of which came with the Celts. The highest season scoring average for any one of these guys with the Celtics is Mark Blount's 10.7 points per a game, Parish's worst season with the team he averaged more. It's been 11 years, and the most production we have received from a center is 10 poinst a game. In fact I'm not even mad about it, because that is amazing. Spanning between 1957 and 1994 they had only one of three guys go into the season as the starting center, Bill Russell, Dave Cowens, and Parish. That is 37 consecutive years with a hall of famer as the starter, and then all of a sudden this drop off happens. A huge drop off in one of the most prestigous positions in the league was at one point almost unthinkable. Think of it this way, your not goign to see Quentin Tarantino star Pauly Shore and Carrot Top in his next film, and your not going to see Guns and Roses get back together but bring Ashlee Simpson into the group and kick Axle out, so how did the team with 37 years of dominance in the pivot turn to Steve Hamer, it had to of been a curse, and the only logical explanation is Parish. The other two members of the Big Three ended there careers happily in Boston, while Parish toiled away on the bench in Charlotte and played the role of Michael Jordan's personal caddy in Chicago. The Celtics finally had a shot over the summer to bring a solid center into town, with a good amount of room under the cap, lots of trade bait with three first round picks and a superstar in Pierce who needed to be moved. Parish saw this and gave Danny Ainge a chance to lift the curse. There was a coaching vacancy left after 3 months of misery with interim coach John Kerry (Carroll.) Robert openly asked Danny for the job, and Danny declined. Now I'm sure Danny's logic was he didn't want a pothead womanizer coaching at the time, but Danny's logic was wrong. Now think about it this way, if the Red Sox had Babe Ruth asking to coach there team after he had retired, I'm sure he would of been hired, not because he was alcoholic who also womanized, but because it was the only logical way to break the so called curse. Now I'm pretty sure Parish is sitting at home, as your read this, with a voo doo doll, some of JOBU'S rum, and a bong laughing at the Celtics for signing Mark Blount to what might as well be a lifetime contract. A move that certainly would not of happened if Danny had signed Parish to coach the team. The pivot is the most important position in the NBA right now, and without a decent big man the Celtics will not contend for another title.

So your welcome Brigham's, welcome back Reverse Curve guys, reopen the bakeries break the curse cookie creators, somebody thaw out Dan Shaugnessy, because I have completely fabricated another curse for Boston fans to jump on. Hopefully 86 years from now when Mark Blounts contract is up and the Celtics sign a decent big man, there won't be riots because of it.

Super Bowl recap

2005-02-08T01:05:00.000-08:00

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Three in four, I don't think I'm willing to call it a dynasty(more on this later, I promise) but without a doubt the most impressive football run since the early 90's Cowboys.

The Game

There was really no point playing the first half of this game. The Pats looked like a guy playing the first half of a game of Madden while on the phone, you know, just paying enough attention to keep it close. It was one of those happy to have a tie score after playing that bad type of halves. The second half started with the Tom Brady-Deion Branch drive, Brady is now to the 2000's in Boston as Williams was to the 50's, Russell was to the 60's, Orr to the 70's, Bird to the 80's, and Pedro was to the 90's by the way. At this point any doubt in the minds of Patriots fans had to of been erased. This was as assuring for the Pats as it was the ESU Wolves when Joe Kane returned in the bowl clinching game in The Program. The next Eagles td didn't even seem to matter, every Pats fan knew Brady was back to playing like superbowl Brady. I think Super Bowl Brady may actually be a completely different guy than regular season Brady, not that Tom does not play great in the regular season, but in these three superbowls he has been a machine of Terminator like proportions. He just doesn't make mistakes, he doesn't throw picks, and he systematically dismantles defense. If Brady is the Terminator of machines, then it makes Mcnabb, Rosie from the Jetsons. Mcnabb just couldn't get over that hump, couldn't put together more than a few good throws at a time, and often threw balls up for grabs like he was a drunk college kid playing a late Thursday night intramural flag football game. The ball that Bruschi picked off was such a bad ball Hot Hands Hanon could of caught it without stick 'em. This isn't meant to diminish Bruschi in anyway what so ever by the way, Tedy is a great player with the best head of hair in football, and that is coming from a straight man. I have never seen his hair out of place and never seen him suffer from helmet hair, if I thought my hair would look like that I would grow it out in a heartbeat, I got to wonder if its a side effect of the belichick kool-aid, and if Belechick retires he will patent the kool-aid as hair restoration product. I was really hoping that after the second Harrison pick they would let Vinatieri kick a field goal just for old times sake.

The Commercials

How unimpressive was this years commercial lineup? Did someone tell these companies they were paying 2.2 million dollars for these spots? And why does the marketing department at Mcdonald's continue to commit career suicide? Mcdonald's has billions of dollars which you know if you can do math, you see the signs, 100billion hamburgurs sold. Now why can't they hire someone who can come up with a decent ad campaign? They had it figured out right up until the "I'm lovin it" era, which was brutal. The Lincoln fry is absolutely insulting my intelligence. This is not funny, nor does it have potential to be. If I have to I will create a bring back Grimace petition, and I won't hesitate. Fix this problem now or I'm coming to McWorld with some serious non-violent resistance to these ads. I might even perform a sit in, or even more drastic a hunger strike.

Lays came through big time and delivered M.C. Hammer getting thrown over a fence, bet you forgot about this one in your drunken football crazed night, but can anyone really get enough of Hammer being thrown over a fence? This was one of the best moments of the whole super bowl. American Express threw in a nice one with Count Chocula, Mr. Peanut, Mr. Clean, and a qhole lot of other great former product pushers. I couldn't actually hear the commercial due to the fact my family was too busy arguing the mathamatical odds of my uncle getting beat up by an Eagle's fan (he was at the game.) But I really don't think this commercial could of possibly been bad with Count Chocula involved. The Anheiser Busch ad thanking our troops was well done. After that everything else seemed mediocre, there were no stand out Terry Tate type performances out there.

The Extras

It was pretty cool to see Charlie Daniels play before the game. Is it me or does Bill Clinton look like Woody Page from around the horn? 41 was looking quite a bit more spry than Clinton, looks like the extra term did a bit of a beating on Billy, either that or Hillary did. The Mccartney halftime was good, nothing too spectacular, but good. I think the league wanted a bland halftime. I personally felt they should of had Clinton and 41 do battle in a steel cage, in a return match from 92, this would be a halftime that everyone would watch. Fox did a much better job with this than they did the World Series, not that it took much. I was still waiting for them to show shots of Stephen King and Jimmy Fallon in the crowd.

The Aftermath

Looks like we can look forward to an offseason of Patriots dynasty talk, I'm as excited about winning three in four as anyone, but this is no dynasty. In fact there is no dynasty in professional football history. The only dynasties in sports are the Bulls, Celtics, Yankees, Canadians, UCLA basketball, and if we are counting it as a sport North Carolina Women's Soccer. Thats it, 6. This may at some point become a dynasty a few years down the road, the team is still very young offensively. Brady is just really hitting his prime, Branch, Givens, and Graham are all still very young. I don't really think it matters what happens with the defense as long as Belichick is running the show it will be one of the best in the league. The offseason will be a great break from all the Belichick wardrobe jokes. Next to Michael Jackson, Bill has been the biggest target of jokesters in recent months. I think its getting rediculous, so what if he dresses gameday's like he has a Monday morning 8 am class, he doesn't have a dress code. Your telling me if you didn't have a dress code for work you would never throw on a sweatshirt and sweatpants, of course you would, especially if your job often times had you working outside in tempatures that sink below zero in New England. These jokes are getting so bad that if you Google Belichick with wardrobe malfunction you receive 1,420 results, I think that's a sign that we need to stop with the jokes. In the end I think Belichick is going to go down as the greatest head coach of all time, he is just got opposing qb's wishing the XFL would come back to give them some job security, really can't emphasize his importance enough. I would love to say I can't wait until next season, but I think I will enjoy some warm weather first.

The blog is back with a vengeance

2005-02-07T23:35:00.000-08:00

I think the best way to describe the blogs triumphant return would be to sing Mark Morrison's return of the Mack, but unfortunately it is not going to happen, so in my best Dana Carvey doing an impression of George H.W. Bush (41) voice, "Not gonna do it." Ok so back into the real business of the blog's return, the blog had to go away for a while due to heavy amounts of school work, but had been receiving a large number of hits before I discontinued it, so I thought while I was on co-op it would be a good time to bring it back. The blog will be moving in a much more sports oriented direction, as for what I had received from feedback seemed to be the best part of the blog. I have said before that I like to write and this is a great killer of free time, so I do this pretty much for me, but it is always pretty cool to hear someone out there is actually reading this thing so email me at ferrari6235@yahoo.com with any comments, things you liked, or didn't like. I will make more of an effort to get a steady number of posts up here, like I said I was getting a solid number of hits in the blogs first term, so if I get good numbers over the next few month I will try and move it to its own domain. Well during the blogs hiatus the Sox won the series, and just last night the Pats won the super bowl, so I had best get this thing on the road.

2004-08-09T10:19:00.000-07:00

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THERE WILL BE A NEW POST UP TONIGHT. In the meantime check out the site of the day:
http://www.dennysbeerbarrelpub.com/6lbburger.htm

Team Discovery Channel

2004-08-06T11:28:00.000-07:00

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An 18-year-old Russian male who jumped onto the court to invite Wimbledon champion Maria Sharapova and Vera Zvonareva to dinner was stopped by security guards at the Rogers Cup tournament Thursday night.
Ok, so lets review here. Tennis game going on, major event, security extremely high. Only a few years ago a female tennis player was stabbed, so pretty much anyone on the court who doesn't belong is going to be swarmed like they stole a book from brentano's. So your watching this world class tennis match with your buddy, you have the tickets, your there live, and you think wow, that chicks pretty hot. So you jump over the barriers and onto the court, thinking "hey, I think I have a chance with this celebrity tennis champ, I'll just ask her out on a date." Within the split second that your saying "Maria would you like to-" you are getting tackled by a Russian security guard the size of Ivan Drago. Was it worth it? I don't know the laws in Russia, in fact I don't even know if they still call it Russia, but my guess is this kid took a serious beating, and got rejected in the same day.
Bobby Fischer, the chess mastermind, just renounced his U.S. citizenship, basically saying he no longer wants to be a part of this country. Ok quick rundown in case you don't know what is going on with B-Fish. Fisher won the world chess championship 3 years in a row (I didn't know they had one of those either) when he quit the tournament in 1975 because the tournaments conditions were unacceptable to him. At which point he disappeared from the chess scene and became a political extremist who basically beleived the same thing nazi germany did. Now he's renounced his U.S. citizenship, which means he doesn't have a passport anymore, which means he cant go anywhere, not even the U.S.! He has to go to some 3rd world country that doesnt have any kind citizenship laws. How can this supposed mastermind be so dumb. He went from being chess legend to being not only homeless, but countryless. Thats like having a job, being a day away from getting your retirement pesnion, and then just quitting with no other job oppurtunities laying ahead. I am even convinced now that this guy has to of gone looney, and I want to play him in chess now, just so I can say I beat B-Fish.

quote of the day: : Of course a man made it. It's a commercial Lois, not a delicious thanksgiving dinner.
Peter Griffin
Website of the day: www.Bostonsportsguy.com

Lance Armstrong to be stripped of tour de france victory

2004-08-04T21:53:00.000-07:00

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LANCE ARMSTRONG HAS VICTORY TAKEN AWAY

An article stating that the Lance Armstrong may be stripped of his 6th Tour de France title was recently published in a French newspaper. In a random check for banned substances, 3 substances were found in Lance Armstrong's hotel room that are banned by the French: Toothpaste, deodorant, and soap.

Sorry, saw that one earlier today and had to break it out. Now on to a much more important agenda. Cats versus Dogs, I hear this way too often. How can you possibly go with the dogs on this one? This is the biggest argument for them, dogs are tougher and badass. Well let me tell you something a cat can be bad ass to. Take for example a Jaguar, now that's one bad ass cat, it even has a car named after it. OK so you say well dog is mans best friend, I say noo way, and who came to that conclusion. If your best friend is a dog then you may be in trouble. Cats eat normal things like tuna fish, dogs stick to dog food, and if you feed the thing anything else, it ends up coming out of the dog on your new recliner.

How awesome is vehix, not the website, but the guy on the commercials wearing the big box. If I ever need anyone to do a commercial, that would be the first guy I would hire, the box and everything. Next time you see a vehix commercial pay close attention to this mans limitless capabilities to bring in customers. Now if Kerry or Bush really want to win this campaign, they should take a long hard look at vehix (or hix, which is what I like to call him) because if you get hix on board, then I am on board, and I am sure the rest of America is on board. In fact I am thinking of running for Kerry's senator seat if he wins the election, not as a demcrat or a republican, but as a vehix. Think about that one for a while.

Now I would like take a good long hard look at the standing of todays fast food establishments, I know I have already delved into Mcdonalds commercials in a previous rant but now I must critique the others. First off there are five fast food giants. Here is the criteria to be a fast food giant:
1. Timing, you have to be open late, like drunk hungry late
2. Lack of health, fast food places can't be considered healthy, which eliminates all sub shops, due to all the healthy options on the menus, and Jared Fogel.
3. Locations, there must be one within a reasonable distance of pretty much anywhere for it to be considered a fast food giant, which eliminates sonic, because I dont know where any are despite there continued commercials telling me to go there. Also I would like to note that at least one of the 5 giants is located in every mall in the country.
4. Commercials, must have one major ad campaign that you can name within 5 seconds of hearing the restaurant.

Ok so your 5 major fast food restaurants are, Burger King, Wendy's, Mcdonalds, Taco Bell, and yes Frank the Tank, KFC is still open. I know what your thinking, Dunkin Donuts, and your right, it does meet my listed criteria, but would you go there for lunch or dinner, (don't tell me a muffin can be very filling) no, you probably wouldn't go there for lunch or dinner, which means I dont even give it restaurant standing.
Now to the commercials these fast food conglomerates have been running, I am appalled. What happened to "if it ain't broke don't fix it." Mcdonalds I have already gone into, so I won't go too long on it, but why can't they just be like hey we arent healthy, but we give you a cool toy with your happy meal. I mean they have sold over 1 billion hamburgers, I saw it on the sign, you would think that they would know better than to go with a healthy approach. Now Wendy's is letting me down too. Mr. Wendy, official sponsor, please. I understand Wendy's is in mourning over the loss of Dave Thomas, one of the fast food commercial greats, but this Mr. Wendy thing is aweful, going from Dave Thomas to him is like replacing Tom Brady with Tom Cruise, someone might think it's a good idea because the ladies might love both of them, and they are both named Tom, but you wouldn't be reaching your whole demographic because your team would be horrible. Lets just hope Mr. Wendy doesn't soil the quality of the commercial tradition Dave Tohmas started the same way Rick Pitino tried to soil the celtic tradition.
Now onto Burger King, who is really pushing this angus burger. Now I like there approach, straight forward, not trying to be anything they aren't, but they are fooling themselves, it would take somebody of hix's proportions to move any food with the word angus in it. I dont know what angus is, but it just sounds way too much liek somethign you shouldn't eat.
Now Taco Bell, I think Taco Bell's approach, very unlike there food, is good. I think the whole think outside the bun campaign is a good idea, but I see a tough road ahead for taco bell with the baja fresh's coming out of the wood work.
Now lastly KFC, who has made no tv push for a while now, which i think is a shame. I miss the colonel, he revolutionized thinking on chicken, whether it was original recipe or extra crispy, the man could sell his bird. I see the future for KFC being dimmer than that of Taco Bell, no ad campaign, and KFC's disappearing everyday is the original recipe for Kentucky Fried disaster.

quote of the day: "I paid a worker at New York's zoo to re-open it just for me and Robin. When we got to the gorilla cage there was 1 big silverback gorilla there just bullying all the other gorillas. They were so powerful but their eyes were like an innocent infant. I offered the attendant $10,000 to open the cage and let smash that silverback's snotbox! He declined."
-Mike Tyson

Website of the day: http://www.homestarrunner.com/

2004-08-03T23:29:00.000-07:00

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Long time no write, sorry, had no computer for a month or so there, it was like livin in 1988, minus the bad stuff of 1988.

So NOMAH is bettah is now NOMAH is gone, which is tough. I heard he didn't want to play here anymore, which I can understand, I mean if an entire city looks at you as a god, then you certainly should move along. I get a strange feeling that Mia has quite a bit to do with it. Shes probably somewhere right now firing soccer balls at NOMAH before he has to take the kids to school and start preparin her dinner. Everyone keeps saying that here kid is going to be an awesome athlete, I dont see it, I think hes more likely going to grow up being afraid of Moms soccer balls and NOMAHS meatloaf, just a hunch.

Gotta get of the sox talk its just to discouraging lately. The Democratic National Convention is gone, (The DNC as the local folk like to call it) which I think is definately a good thing for anyone who wants t o be in Boston between 5 and 12pm. Did anything good actually happen for the city of Boston during this thing, I'm just curious but it looks like these guys borrowed our city for a week, then told us we couldn't come in. Thats like someone coming to your house, putting on old hanging with Mr. Cooper reruns, and you asking if they can check the score of the sox game, and the person says "Nahh, I haven't seen this one yet." If Kerry wins he had best throw some money our way for the whole borrowing the city thing.

If the Cubs win the world series with NOMAH, do we pick up the curse of the billygoat, and some sort of a curse of garciaparra-ham. Which curse would reign supreme. If there was an argument between the curses on how the season should end would the Billy Goat and Babe do battle? I see it making a great paperview.

I think someone should have some sort of a battle of the diets. I wanna see Dr. Atkins, Jenny Craig, Mr. and MRS. Slimfast, Richard Simmons, and Raul and Rudy Weightwatcher in an over the top rope battle royal, I think I would like Jared Fogles chances, those subs could be used as a knunchuck type of weapon. And on a side note i sawe some kind of an updated teenage mutant ninja turtles cartoon the other day, minus splinter. Thats just aweful. Thats like MA$E minus the dollar sign.

If you haven't seen anchorman yet see it.
website of the day: http://www.wwujd.com/
Quote of the day: "Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder"
If you don't get it, then you have failed to heed my advice and see anchorman

2004-06-20T15:18:00.000-07:00

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Saw dodgeball, go see it, patches o houlihan will be your favorite character, if he isn't then your fired.

I decided to set up and promote the Jack Daniels vs. Jose Cuervo matchup, you can get 3-1 on Cuervo, or 100-1 on my liver.

Larry Bird as always is exactly right. In case you missed it ESPN aired a special featuring Larry, Magic Johnson, Lebron James, and Carmelo Anthony. They basically just held a forum on basketball. The issue of race in the nba came up and Larry spoke up. He said the NBA's fan base is white, and they would probably be more intrigued by white superstars, he also went on to say that African Americans are the best athletes playing the game today. So why are people making a big deal about this, Larry said nothing that should be taken as insulting, it is true, the majority of the NBA's fan base is white, and the best players in the world are not. And don't these people know that Larry is always right no matter what he says.

Worst songs of the month: Overnight Celebrity - Twista - Ok so what I got out of this is Twista is convinced that girls will sleep with him because they think if they sleep with him they will become celebrities, hence the title. But what I don't get is that I have never even heard of Twista, I thought he was just a quality fruit juice drink produced by ocean spray. And he's not the President, it's not like the girl gets to become the first lady, or even Monica, so how does this celebrity transition work, that's right, it doesn't.

Mario Winans - I don't wanna know - This guy needs to disappear, fast. He's the namesake of a pasta eating flower power grabbing king koopa stomping princess saving nintendo superstar and he has yet to put out anything decent. If your name is Mario you should be limited to doing cool things, and not be allowed to embarrass the name with bad songs.

Best Songs of the month - Hey Good Looking - Clint Black, Toby Keith, Kenny Chesney, Alan Jackson, and JIMMY BUFFETT Jimmy has a new single, its on the radio, he wins.

Jerry Jeff Walker - Sangria Wine - Songs old, but I just heard it, and its pretty sweet and about drinking, so makes a big time move for best song of the month.

Phish broke up, not that I care

Dispatch is doing there final show before they break up at the hatchshell, now thats somethign to care about.

Liar

2004-06-19T15:17:00.000-07:00

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Sorry, I was off a game on my nba finals prediciton, if you lost a bet because of it, then your probably not very smart for taking bets from me. I lied it was Pistons in 5 instead of the 6 I had originally predicted.

Everyone lies at somepoint or another, so I spent a while trying to put it together, and I discovered everyone's first lie is at the dentists office, and then after that its a lot easier to lie. Cuz the dentist will always ask you if you have flossed everyday and brushed after every meal, and you had to say yes, there was just no other option. Even though he's looking in your mouth at like 8 cavities, you still have to say you have been flossing and brushing.

Trots Back
Its about time for the annual Pedro injury, give it two weeks.

I declare today Costume day for many reasons.
1. I miss Halloween
2. Every other holiday has some kind of a matching holiday, Christmas and Easter are religious thing, Thanksgiving goes with the 4th, memorial day, and all those other days celebrating American history, but Halloween is one of kind, that's why I think we need another day to dress in costume.
3. I saw a nice pirates outfit the other day and kinda want to wear it

Has the nonfoldable hat brim ever been this popular, and does anyone think this looks good. And what comes after this, we went to the backwards hat, then backwards to the side, then just to the side, now were not folding brim, the next reasonable measure will probably be to just cut the brim right off.

Jack Daniels vs. Jose Cuervo in a street fight, who wins?
and how about on an undercard you pit the cocacola polar bear against the budweiser clydesdales?

I can not believe I just saw a commercial for a show involving men swapping there wives, these reality shows just get more and more ridiculous. I think they should do a reality show on Tommy Heinsohn, you couldn't go wrong.

Pistons Lakers

2004-06-06T18:19:00.000-07:00

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Here's the prediction, Pistons in 6, Kobe is ineffective most of the series, he will have his occasional spurt, but tayshaun is too long for him and rip is too good of condition.

Can someone tell what what is wrong with a sox, apparently we will bne praying to nomah to save us.

The best commercial out there right now has to be them miller commercials, they are crushing bud right now, I think that anything that is bad hsould be considered a travishamockery now.

I miss the winter olympics, I havent seen a good game of curling in a while.

As a criminal justice major i have learned a few things, 1. police officers don't like to process dui's, so feel free to drive drunk, just don't drive into me, secondly police officers avoid gettign into high speed pursuits, so drive drunk and if they try and pull you over speed off, they won't chase ya. (the preceeding statement was sarcastic, probably not a good idea to drive drunk, that how you meet telephone polls.)

If you haven't seen Big Fish see it, if you have, and can find that giant for me, my birthday is coming up and hed make a great gift.
There is a show coming to tv called marriage swap, where people trade spouses, I have a problem with this. What if your spouse is hot, the the one you receive is not? What if you get a spouse who has a crack addiction? Is it cheating if you hook up with your substitute spouse, or is this legal? And lastly, how much do you dislike your wife/husband, if your trying to trade her, shoudln't you look into divorce, being head of a household doesnt make you like a general manager in sports, if I have a kid I know goign in that I can't trade him for someone else's kid and a kid to be named later, or trade my wife for a mormons two wives.

If I could only eat one food for the rest of my life, I would have ot take a long hard look at ribs.

If the NHL goes under it will be a serious travishamockery, our relations wiht Canada will go to the toilet, we are gonna have to start importing a lot of canadian ham and molson.

Buffett song of the week: If phone doesn't ring it's me

And heres a question to think about for the day look at your buddy liston aim, how many of those people do you actually talk to, about 10, if people like you maybe 20, then why do you have a 150 names on there? Just curious.

Knowledge is cheaper if your homeless

2004-05-27T08:56:00.000-07:00

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Thought about it yesterday that my tuition is 38,000 dollars a year, its a 5 year school which means I am looking at 200 thousand dollars. With this money I could buy a home, or a backupsingers (Ill probably explain in a later post) or 5 escalades, or a half tank of gas for each one of those escalades. But hey, knowledge is power right. So I trekked down to the Boston library the other day where I found 5 homeless people sitting there reading (don't ask me how I knew they were homeless, your telling me you couldn't spot a homeless person?) One of them was reading some kidn of a philosphy book, no joke, my rediculous imagination couldn't even make this up. So I came to the conclusion that this homeless person, for the price of 0 dollars, is learning more than me. So the moral of the story is if your sick of school costs be homeless for a while, and you will get the education, just not the degree, the job, the respect, or any girls whatsoever. Oh yeah and you have to smell like urine.

What happened to the show Clone High? Why isn't it on tv? I swear the people at MTV are out to get me. In the same year they take Clone High and Doggy Fizzle off the year. If I had my own tv station I would bring back both of these shows, I would throw some family guy in there, and reserve the rest of the time for the girls on the spanish channel. If I could move anywhere, it would be spain, just based on what I see on the Spanish channel.

What is going on with Derek Lowe? Is this his every other year collapse, he has to be the most inconsisten pitcher from year to year in the history of baseball. And a little piece of me died when Johnny Damon shaved, biggest mistake of his career. You will see, its gonna backfire somehow, just wait.

Seinfeld spinoff, and some other things

2004-05-26T19:02:00.000-07:00

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Now I know Jerry Seinfeld said at he end of his show there would be no spinoffs. That means you wouldn't see costanza, kramer, or elaine getting their own shows. I have heard a lot of love for Puddy on the topic of a spinoff, as well as J petermen. Now with all due respect to the previous characters, where is the outcry about the lack of Izzy Mandlebaum (In case you missed out on Izzy, he was in two episodes and lived in the same complex as Jerry's parents, he was about 80 years old, had a son about 60, and a dad about 95.) in there lives. Think about it, you could have all these great run ins between the Mandlebaums in famous people. The Mandlebaums could beat the Red Wings in hockey one week, then the next week Izzy could be boxing tyson, and while he did this his father and son could be participating in other singles event like golf or the tour de france.

If France didn't give us fries or toast, would we of saved it in ww2? And more importantly what have you done for me lately France? French toast and french fries are things of the past, and french onion soup can only get you by for so much longer, I expect a big food product out of you soon. I did some thinking about thing that was going on when the French chose to try and hold up the bombing of Iraq, and people stared calling french fries freedom fries. I gotta wonder if this freedom fry thing caught on anywhere. I think we should start calling our food products American (food name here). I think George Bush should have some kind of competition with Jaque Chirac for the naming rights to fries and toast, I could see George whoopin up on Chirac in a game of horseshoes.

Next time you see the Massachussettes click it or ticket commercial, the one with all the people making seatbelt wearing excuses, check out the guy who says, "I don't believe in a seat belt," I swear you will laugh for a solid ten minutes.

Gas prices are pretty high, chances are if you can find away to convert water into gasoline, you will be a billionaire, so work on that.

Never trust anyone who doesn't like all of the following movies

2004-05-26T08:49:00.000-07:00

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There is a lot of ways to judge someone's personality. Psychologists have all these crazy things involving rorshach and what not. But I can tell you this much, if a person doesn't like the following movies he is most likely a communist, or an Iraqi spy and shouldn't be trusted.
1. Top Gun- Because the guy who played Goose seemed like he had no right being in the movie. Watch the volleyball scene, everyone is in great shape outside of Goose. He must of been a good friend of Tommy C in real life. That scene was like the movie eqivalent of the Chris Farley - Patrick Swazey dance off on SNL.

2. Great Outdoors - John Candy was the greatest overweight comedian of all time. (take that Chris Farley fans) Everyone likes this movie, and like I said if they don't, they are probably communist anyway so it doesn't matter. And I am supremely confident that Candy could really down that steak. How creepy was the guy that made him eat all the fat and grizzle? You could base an entire horror movie around that guy. It should of been Freddy vs. Jason vs. the creepy guy who made John Candy eat all the grizzle.

3. Blues Brothers- sticking with movies involving Akroid and Candy, this is the only musical a man should be comfortable watching. Blues Brothers 2000 however should of never existed, it was a stupid idea, probably by a communist who thought they could improve on the first, they were better off doing a spinoff on Matt Guitr Murphy.

4. A Bronx Tale- The Sonny test works,the Mario test is different and i dont have it in me to try it.

5. The Warriors- "Warriors, come out and playyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" This made being in a gang seem cool. Just cuz you could theme your gang, now all you have is gangs picking colors. Back in Warrior times you had the baseball bat gang, the mimes, and my personal favorite, the orphans.

So there you have it, if someone tells you that these movies are no good, don't trust them.

gonna do some random rambling

2004-05-25T20:28:00.000-07:00

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-Saw on the news tonight that the bloods and the crypts, had a meeting in Newark, NJ, and made a truce. Does this bother anyone? So you have the leaders of the two biggest gangs in America together and you choose to let them speak. No one says, "Hey maybe we should arrest these guys." And worse they made a truce, its said the will cease fire, I wouldn't be fooled by this, that's like saying a peace treaty between Palestine and Israel, or the warriors and the orphans.
-A clown in the Ringling brothers circus got arrested for child pornography,Ill let you come up with a joke for that one.
-I often run into political groups doing some serious preaching on campus who are out trying to get the message out, usually pushing for small time candidates for the presidency, and the occasional republicans or democrats working on there grassroots campaigning. Today I ran into 6 people pushing for communism, you read that right, COMMUNISM. Do people outside of China still think this is a good idea? I mean I can understand a lot of political views, and how they could work, but do any of these people out there think that by lobbying communism is going to catch on. Did they miss the whole cold war thing or did they just really like Drago in Rocky 4? But even if you really feel that strongly about communism wouldn't you just say, "hey, America took a long look at communism, it didn't work, maybe I'll hop on the next flight to China."
- Here's my person who should be in jail for and not playing sports award for the month. No it's not Jayson Williams, Rasheed Wallace, or even O.J., but instead Leonard Little of the St. Louis Rams. The guy was drunk driving, blew a stop light and hit a car killing a St. Louis mother, then recently got pulled over again for drunk driving, but he will play next season for the Rams. Which brings me to this, if I was a pro athlete, I would at least commit cool crimes, can't think of any right now, but if I do I'll let you know.
- I'm voting the show Most Extreme Challenge as most entertaining show of the year for a college student, edging out Chappelle show. Chappelle remains as the Bridesmaid once again, as he got beat out last year by DoggyFizzle televizzle which has mysteriously disappeared from the air. If I had an awards show I would give this show its award, and instead of those dumb moon mans they give out on mtv, or that weird grammy thing I would go with the basic paper certificate saying you won like the things from middle school, or if I could get myself a whole bunch of Heisman trophy I guess I would have to give them out.
- Remember going in the bathroom in high school or middle school, and there was always these lists on the stalls with like the top ten girls in each grade listed, (do girls have these things, I doubt it,but if you did let me know) because some kid was sitting there like, I got nothing to read so I might as well make up this ridiculous list. So you would look at it, and you knew who wrote the list right away. You would see names of all these hot girls, and then some girl would be on the list at like number four who wouldn't make the top 50, or worse yet you didn't even know who she was, so it was a safe assumption that if you could figure out who the person was dating, that they made the list. I always wanted to call the person out and be like "so you think Sue is number four huh, I got news for ya buddy she doesn't crack my top ten list of girls named sue."
- Continuing the subject on girls I need to get some feedback on Rachel Ray, the girl form food network. I have been hearing some anti remarks of late and I just don't get it. She's hot, and she can cook up a meal like you wouldn't believe. Is there anything about this that could possibly be bad? I mean if you would like to email me orgive me some reasoning on why not to like her I will gladly post it and debate it.
-Did anyone watch the road rules\real world inferno? (ya I watched it, I have a girlfriend so I got an excuse)Did anyone else get to see how awesomely competitive these people got. It had all the makings of a great sports drama, was even better than the Lakers saga. You had people throwing games, all kinds of team dissention, and a situation where a member of the real world actually attempted to kill a road ruler. And then in the end out of nowhere this girl Katy, who went to the inferno what seemed like 12 teams and won everytime, pulls out the win with her team.
-The MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES SUCK, there I said it. KG can't carry a team, spreewell is overrated, and Cassell is the winner of the most likely to come from another planet award for the 30th consecutive year. The two teams in the east are better than the twolves. The Eastern Conference which has been regarded as a farm system for the west for the past few years has hada better playoffs than the west.
-I finally found a fun crime, gambling (in the states where its illegal) gotta love Pete Rose.

Mr. Mingoele taught me about music for a year in 8th grade, making me an expert

2004-05-25T12:06:00.000-07:00

Worst 2 songs of the month
rubber band man - Rubber band man, is this some kind of a joke. I can not believe this song is on the radio. Are rappers running out of ideas? Did David Banner just look at a Rubber Band and be like someone grab me a pen, some paper, I got an idea, this rubber band can stand for struggle. And to say he is wild as the Taliban, this probably isn't the best idea. If Kevin Garnett has to take crap for talking about a game as a war, then this guy should have to hear a whole lot of anger for comparing himself to the Taliban. If he really is wild as the Taliban like he says he is, shouldn't he be incarcerated? Would anyone be opposed to permanently taking this song off the air? And what record exec, sat there and thought, this Rubber Band thing could be big, we can't ,miss out on signing the rubber band man?

Game Over - Flip, Flip, Flip, Game Over. Flip, Flip, Flip, Game over. Mr. Flip must of graduated from Harvard. This could be actually nominated for worst song ever. The only thing it has any relevance to is the game flip cup, and something tells me that wasn't his intentions, but then again, what were his intentions?I am pretty excited to see if El Flip's career takes off from here, I see a big follow up deal with him involving, "Cup, Cup, Cup, Consolidate." I really do hope BigFlip's career takes off because of this, but something tells me his career is probably got lord tariq and peter gunnz written all over it. (I'm really not sure if these guys are gone from the industry, but my best guess is that they have to be.) Flip, Flip, Flip, Career Over.

Best Two songs of the month
David Lee Murphy - Loco - Gotta love any song that involves tequila, Key West, Tiki Torches, and partying. Does anyone dislike these four things, didn't think so, listen to the song or I'm coming over.

Brad Paisley - I'm gonna miss her- A guy chooses his going fishing over his wife. This is like the story of Homer Simpson in musical form, 'nuff said.

Honorable Mention for both best and worst categories at the same time-
Mase - Welcome Back - The dollar sign is back baby, and who isn't happy about this. Come on, the horse and carriage man went to church for a month, now he's back, you have to be excited. He is the only man I know who has made it in the music business with no skill what so ever. terrible voice, and is a rapper, yet he raps slower than you would have a normal conversation. This is and underdog story and a half. Instead of Miracle: the story of the 1980 U.S. olympic hockey team, it should of been, Miracle: the story of the rapper who couldn't rap, but was friends with notorious B.I.G.

Buffett Song of the month - Mr. Spaceman - Features Gonzo. (ya that gonzo, and I'm not joking)
And lastly speaking of music I got Fraggle Rock as my ringtone yesterday, how awesome is that.

Good ole Dr. Atkins

2004-05-24T18:21:00.000-07:00

Here's one for all you Atkins dieters in case you missed out on this tid bit of the atkins diet, the guy died of heart failure. That's right this supposed health machine died because lack of health, and you think that the guy is gonna solve your heft issues. Any diet where Beef Jerky is an acceptable snack can not be good for you. This low carb thing is getting dumb, when you are sacrificing your typical Budweiser for an ultra or an aspen, your in to this atkins thign to deep. Having a low carb beer is like saying you don't really wanna be healthy but you guess you will give it a shot, try this one, just don't drink or get back on the carb train. Here's a solution for all you low carb crazies, go for a run, go for a walk, do the hokey pokey for an hour I don't really care but if this low carb thing wipes out businesses like krispy kreme who serve quality foods that happen to be blatant carbs then people are gonna start hearing from me in high carb fashion. That's it for me, gotta go have a huge bowl of pasta with some fresh bread followed by a huge piece of cake.

quote of the week "if we weren't all crazy we would all go insane"

Red Sox nation

2004-05-24T17:59:00.000-07:00

I am a proud member of Red Sox nation, not afraid to admit it despite the whole 1918 thing, but here's a few words of wisdom for fellow sox nation members. 1. Do not listen to Ben Affleck, the guy tries, but he sucks. He attempts to be the voice of Red Sox nation with his ridiculous rants that some how get airtime, you want the voice of Red Sox nation check out Bill Simmons on espn.com, the guy knows what he's talking about when it comes to being a sox fan. 2. As a sox fan you can be as miserable or optimistic as you want, don't let anyone tell you otherwise, you are connected to 86 years of failure, irrational thoughts are more than acceptable. 3. It doesn't matter if they win 100 world series, the Yankees still suck as long as steinbrenner is at the helm and they wear pinstripes, it may be irrational, but refer to number 2 on that one. 3. Selective hearing is ok, you don't have to listen to a Yankees fans when they mutter phrases like "1918," "Buckner," "Boone," or, "could you pleasedo something about the beer you just spilled all over my new arod jersey." And lastly 4. This thing is bigger than Balboa vs. Drago, therefore pretty much anything goes, don't feel bad wearing a shirt that says gayrod or Yankees suck, its a justified showing of contempt toward the evil empire.

Why a web page

2004-05-24T17:37:00.000-07:00

Was sitting around, realized I like to write, so figured a web page was in order. By no means am I a journalist, or a computer guy so bear with me. I'll probably throw random articles in here involving subjects ranging from Larry Bird to MacDonald's commercials. And off to the Macdonald's commercials, while I already brought it up, Who is Writing for these people. If my web page isn't as entertaining as these recent commercials, let me know I will quit it. Have you seen this one with the girls at some kind of a baby shower and they need to get a hold of some Macdonalds, they sing this terrible song that sounds like it came right out of the mouth of a kindergarten student during a recital. This is disappointing stuff from the people who brought us mayor mccheese and the hamburglar. I refuse to eat there until they step up the commercial quality, untill the do, I'm a Wendy's man.